Messy love | Matheo Riddle

34

CHAPTER 34

TW : tr*ma, c!rse

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CHAPTER 34 - Restricted section

"He is more myself than I am "

 

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POV OF FERYE AZURA.

For the past 15 hours, I've been buried in the library, thrashing through every text I can find on Godbloods, yet nothing seems to make sense. It almost feels like I'm cramming for N.E.W.T.s, but my situation is far more worse. Threatening even, Other students study to secure their futures; I study to save my life—and possibly theirs.

My reputation is recovering. It seems as more and more students are occupied with more on their plates–exams, classes and well, Quidditch (although that is coming to a stop with the increasing amount of rain and thunder occurring.)

Five hours ago, I realized the regular Hogwarts library was not going to offer me much, leading me to sneak into the restricted section where it was incredibly dusty. It took everything within me to not sneeze or cough. My hands were occupied with a lamp. Lighting it up, I used the small light to guide me into finding any books that would answer my very purpose in this world. My hands greedily reached for any book related to God Bloods and after my hands were holding at least 5 books, I searched for a big table in which I found a secluded one in the back of the restricted section. I thanked Merlin when I saw the table near the window. I placed my books opposite me and sat down. The lamp–my only source of light was very close to me as I grabbed my first book—the history of Godbloods. It was ancient, meaning i was not going to get a lot of relevant information but it was still useful. I flipped through the yellow pages one by one as the moon outside my window became more and more apparent. I lazily tied my hair in a messy bun, a quill twirling between my fingers scribbling notes onto the parchment that I would submit to Dumbledore.

I reached halfway through the book. All that I understood was, Godbloods were powerful and according to ancient wizardry, each Godblood family ruled a kingdom. Their sole purpose was to protect their kingdom and prevent other Godbloods from invading their own kingdom. But that didn't happen. In the 1800s, more and more wars happened with Kingdoms fighting against one another. Soon the world became segregated and one specific power started to rise—Voldemort. He started killing more and more Godbloods and became so powerful that he started to rewrite the laws of Godbloods himself. The laws can be rewritten if one attains enough power, influence and determination. That was all the knowledge I attained and yet I still had 5 more books and half including the one I was reading. I sighed.

My patience was wearing thin. My eyes were getting heavier, my head aching as if it wanted to collapse against the wall. A yawn escaped, and I stretched my arms, exhausted. Ever since I found out I'm a Godblood, I gave up everything, including the crutches that once made life easier.

Responsibility haunts me everyday. I can't run. I didn't ask for any of this. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that Godbloods can only be killed by another Godblood.

Sometimes I think of how my life would be different if my sister never existed, Lorenzo would still be alive. I am sure I wouldn't have an abusive relationship with Malfoy. I would be a Godblood still yet it would be more bearable with my loved ones still around. In reality, I have no one with me. This is possibly when I start to cry and weep. Minutes later, I toughen up realizing that I cannot afford to be weak. When things felt unbearable, my mind always drifted to what Lorenzo would say. I knew him so much that I would be able to predict everything he was going to do back then. He's more myself than I am. He is another version of me, strong and courageous. Everyone thought of him as weak and only I knew how strong he was. If Lorenzo was here, he'd want me to fight, to keep going, and for him, I will. This war will end someday, and I'll deal with the aftermath later.