The Sound of Silence - Yellowjackets

5. Wild

"Fuck..." I mutter as tears flow down my cheeks. Damnit. I can't fall apart. I have to be strong. If they know I'm just as fucked as the rest of them, they'll lose hope. "Andi...?" My head whips up and I see Shauna standing there, looking at me with a dumbfounded look on her face. I wipe the tears off my face and plaster on a fake smile, hoping she didn't see me crying. "Yeah?" I ask. She's quiet for a moment before sitting on the ground beside me. "Just as fucked up as the rest of us, huh?" She says after a moment. I sigh.

"They can't know. Someone has to be strong. For all of us. Might as well be me." I reply. I reach into my pocket and grab the pack of cigarettes I've been saving. I open it and hand one to Shauna. She takes it without a word. I grab my Zippo lighter and light both hers and mine. I tuck the pack back into my pocket. We smoke in silence for a few minutes. She reaches into her flannel and pulls out a flask. "We all have secrets, Andi Stormer." She says. She takes a swig before handing the flask to me. I take a long gulp and hand it back to her.

"Whisky. Damn, Shipman. Who knew you had it in you." I tell her. She laughs. "I could say the same about the cigarettes, Andi." She replies. "Touché," I say. I finish my cigarette. I wipe the burning ashes off the top with my thumb before flicking it into the woods. Shauna buries hers in the dirt. "So, Shipman, tell me, how've you been?" I ask. She laughs. "Seriously?" She asks, incredulous. "Seriously," I reply, nodding. She laughs. "Alright. Honestly, I've been pretty shitty. I hate it when Jackie gets mad at me, you know?" She says. I nod.

"Yeah, I get that. I hate it when Danny gets mad at me too." I tell her. "So, Danny, huh? You two dating or something?" She asks. I laugh. "God no. He's like a big brother to me." I reply. "What about you? Got a boyfriend back home, Shipman?" I ask. She shakes her head. "Nope. Even if I did, Jackie and I made a vow to lose our virginity together, so, you know." She says. I laugh. "So you two plan to invite a bunch of guys over and have an orgy for your first time then, huh?" I ask. She slaps my arm.

"Fuck you, Andi." She says, laughing with me. "What about you? I know you don't have a boyfriend, but have you lost your virginity?" She asks me. Images of Rachael cross my mind. "Yeah. I lost it two years ago when I was sixteen." I tell her. "Damn. I wasn't expecting that, Andi. Who'd you lose it to?" She asks. I shake my head. "You wouldn't know 'em," I tell her. She nods. "Okay, don't tell me. Be mysterious then, Stormer." She replies. She hands the flask to me and I take another long gulp. "I don't know how long I can stay here. It's so... suffocating." I admit.

"I just wish I could run off, do something crazy, then come back and do whatever the fuck I have to," I say. Shauna laughs. She takes a long swig and then tucks the flask back into her flannel. She stands up and offers me her hand. "Then let's do it. Let's go do something so completely fucking insane and have fun." She tells me. After a moment, I take her hand. "Where are you two off to?" A voice says. I turn to see Nat standing there. I give Shauna a look and she nods. I reach into Shauna's flannel and toss the flask to Nat.

"We're gonna get fucked up, do some insane shit, then come back. What do you say, Nat? Wanna come with?" I ask. She smirks and takes and swig. She tosses the flask back at me and I hand it to Shauna. "Hell yeah. Let's do this." She tells me. I smile. I rip the flask from Shauna's hands and take off running. "Catch me if you can!" I shout. I hear laughing behind me and look back to see the two chasing after me with grins on their faces. The pain in my leg decreases as the cold wind numbs the wound. I look forward. I jump over logs and duck under branches. In the distance, I hear wolves howling. I stop and take a deep breath. My face turns towards the sky.

"You good?" Nat asks as she and Shauna catch up. "Honestly? Yeah, I feel fucking amazing." I reply. I pull my hoodie and my shirt off and tie them both around my waist so I'm just in my sports bra. I close my eyes and take another deep breath. I listen to the wolves howling in the distance. I turn my face to the sky again and howl along with the wolves. Nat and Shauna laugh for a moment before joining me. "Haha!" I shout. The cold night air gently caresses my skin. "Let's go wild. We're all fucking alone. Who the hell is gonna stop us?" I say. "Let's do this," Nat replies. She pulls her shirt off and wraps it around her waist. We both look at Shauna.