Never to love again - girlxgirl

Never to love again - girlxgirl Chapter 11 Where to now?

The weeks and months slowly passed by and Linkin was growing into quite a busy little boy.  Lacey came around every now and then to see Linkin and he would cry sorrowfully whenever she had to leave.  It killed me to see how our relationship had crumbled into something I couldn’t even describe.  I missed her so much and I could see that she missed us too. 

One evening as I was sitting on my small balcony watching Linkin play with his toys, my cellphone rang.  I recognised Lacey’s number and answered. 

“Hey there,” I greeted cheerfully.  “Hey yourself, what you up to?” Lacey asked hestitantly.  “Oh, nothing much,” I replied.  “Just sitting on my balcony watching Linkin play with his toys. You?”

There was a moment of silence and I began to wonder if Lacey had hung up on me.  “U….um, nothing much, I was hoping maybe I could come around tomorrow evening for a visit, if you’re not too busy that is?”

“Oh….um, sure,” I replied, wondering what was up with her this time.  “Come by around 6pm and I’ll make us some dinner.  Linkin has been asking for you a lot lately so I’m sure he’ll be really happy to see you.”

I ended the call and sat thinking about the last 7 and a half years of my life.  I couldn’t believe how my life could be so good at one moment and then so terrible the next.  Sometimes I wondered how different my life would have been if I hadn’t kissed Lacey that night.  It felt like a lifetime ago and I couldn’t really remember my life before Lacey. 

It soon began to get a little chilly outside and so I decided to take Linkin inside before he caught a cold and it was nearly his bedtime anyway.  I looked into his gorgeous brown eyes that were a mirror of my own and smiled at him as he stretched his arms up lovingly for me to pick him up.  “I love you so much Linkin,” I smiled, with tears in my eyes.  “You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life and I love you beyond words.” 

“Goo goo ga ga,” was his gurgled response.  I laughed at his quizzical face as he searched mine and touched my tears that now stained my cheeks.  “My thoughts exactly Linkin,” I giggled as we went inside.

It was nearly 6pm and I still had to finish making the white sauce for the cauliflower and get the desert I had made into the oven.  Lacey would be here soon, not that she was ever on time for anything in her life, but I still wanted to change and put on a little makeup before she arrived.  One of the only positive things about our breakup had been the fact that I had now lost nearly 20kgs and I was looking really hot, even if I do say so myself.  I had lost all the weight I had gained when I was pregnant with Linkin as well as an extra 6 kgs.

I put on one of my new tops that showed off my new found sexy curves and checked myself out in the mirror again as I heard Lacey’s car coming up the driveway.  Linkin smiled a toothless grin at me as I entered the kitchen and banged his new plastic toy on the floor as if to say…. ‘wow Mom, you look great!’ Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the thought going through his mind at that moment, but it’s my story and I’m sticking to that scenario.  

I greeted Lacey at the door and motioned for her to follow as I ran to the kitchen to stop the potatoes from boiling over as they bubbled in the pot.  As I turned around, I noticed that Lacey was checking me out and I smiled to myself as I reached into the cupboard and grabbed us some glasses to pour us a drink.

Dinner was pleasant as we sat around the table laughing about the good old times.  Linkin didn’t like the fact that he wasn’t the centre of attention and occasionally yelled out ‘Mama’ or ‘Moekie’ (as he fondly named her) to get our attention again.  Lacey and I both giggled and watched as Linkin tried to feed himself some custard.  He kept missing his mouth and pushing the teaspoon up his nose.

After dinner, Lacey and I sat outside on the balcony with a drink while Linkin played with his toys.  We were both silent as we watched our son playing, but I could see that Lacey had something on her mind.

I decided to get the conversation started so I asked her, “is there something on your mind or did you just want to come over to see Linkin?”

“I…I um wanted to talk about us,” Lacey responded nervously.  “I know that a lot has gone on between us over the past eight months, but I miss you and Linkin so much. 

I sat there in silence, waiting for her to explain her intentions further but she didn’t say anything more.  “So, what exactly are you saying Lacey?” I asked quietly.

“I miss you Julia.  I miss you and I want to know if we can try to fix things between us.  I’ve done a lot of soul searching these last few weeks and I know what I want now.  I want to buy a house again and live with you and…..and maybe I could fall pregnant and we could have another child.”

I looked at her in shock.  My head was spinning and butterflies fluttered furiously in my stomach as her words sank in.  “Do you really miss me?” I asked, “Or do you miss Linkin?”

I’m so, so sorry it took me so long to upload this chapter!  I’ve been so busy lately and to be honest, I haven’t been in a very good place these last few months.  Hope you enjoyed the chapter.  I promise I’ll update more often as I have a two week holiday.