Helluva Mate

20

Meanwhile, in an unknown location, Moxxie wakes up and looks around groggily. He and Blitzø are bound in separate chairs, their tails twisted around and chained to a round rock, preventing them from escaping. Moxxie panics, briefly struggling to get our, until Agent Two grabbed a lamp over their heads, bringing it close to Moxxie's face, the Imp flinching away slightly at the sudden brightness.

"Finally awake, huh, little fella?" She asked, releasing the lamp "Your partner has been a while now."

"Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down, alright?" Blitzø replied "I took a fuck-ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also, I've been strapped nipple first to a car battery. So, I --" flinching when the lamp is shined in his face by Agent One. "Ohhh, okay!"

"Tell us, demon scum!" Agent One demanded "Who do you work for? Satan?!"

"How did you get to our world from the afterlife?" Agent two asked, grabbing the light and shining it in Moxxie's face.

"Why are youse killin' humans?!" taking the light, shining it in Blitzø's face

"When did you show up here?" taking the light again.

"Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch." Blitzø said, annoyed as he interrupted the interrogation "First of all, we just woke up from a very nasty shock. And I'm still feelin' fuckin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we get into this. I mean, everyone gets coffee in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right? I want somethin' iced, bitch!" turning his head slightly "Mox?"

"I'll have a Neapolitan cappuccino, more cappu- than -ccino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk; the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup -- they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy"; I hate that." Moxxie informed "If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional misto. Please use soy milk, with two blond shots affogato --" accusingly pointing his foot at Agent Two, "-- and ristretto! I'd also love . . three vanilla pumps at the very bottom, then add the coffee after, then add--"

"Enough!" Agent One snapped "We aren't getting youse coffee!"

"Wow." Blitzø commented "I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox. Congrats!" earning a smirk from Moxxie

"If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers outta you nasty hell beasts!" Agent Two informed, leaning up close to Moxxie's face

"When you say torture, do you mean physical or psychological?" Moxxie asked "Physical seems counterproductive; we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain, and you would have no way of knowing what was true!"

"Or we might like it too much." Blitzø added "And then you've got a whole new thing to deal with."

"What do you mean by that?" Agent One demanded, pointing and accusing finger at him

"Ah, you're stupid, huh?" Blitzø smirked "I can work with stupid. Daddy likey dummy."

Moxxie squirms in his chair trying to hold in his laughter but laughs anyway,

"Good one, sir!" Moxxie laughed, stomping his hooves on the floor "Daddy likey . . !"

"You better stop laughin' at us!" Agent Two demanded

"Yeah!" Agent One added, grabbing Blitzø by the caller and pulling him closer "You are the ones at our mercy!"

"It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry." Moxxie said, his head turned to look at the agent and an amused Blitzø "I mean, considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied here for what, hours? And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are!"