Unsuspecting Blessing.

ix

ix

Brian felt the overwhelming shadow of responsibility creep up from behind him since he started staying at the hospital with Julia. She had four days remaining, and it felt like an eternity to him as he rushed around the convenience store to buy cheap crackers and yogurt because Julia had become tired of the hospital's selection. Being there for a day, the cuisine seemed unimportant, but being there for close to a week everything began to taste like cardboard, and he would know since he was also scavenging for himself too. The unequal wheels of the shopping cart drove him mad as they squeaked and skidded on the dusty tiles below. Ashamedly, the pain in his forearms from pushing the cart reminded him of Julia, because gripping the handles of her wheelchair so frequently started to give him cramps, but he knew soon she would be on crutches and starting physical therapy; that of which he came to understand would be a can of worms in of itself, but he prayed for any change from humdrum feeling of being stuck in a hospital.

Despite the gloomy atmosphere in the hospital, Brian actually started to enjoy his stay and the monotonousness and redundancy began to make sense the more he got to know Julia. He knew that she was a nature lover, and quite often ironically used to enjoy walks—though she used the word wanders—along the sidewalks that roped together rural areas because of the lush, unkempt trees and unfiltered flora and fauna living there. Her words, not mine, he thought. Brian also knew that he had not much in common with Julia, besides the fact that they shared the same History class, but he felt a driving eagerness to engage himself with her. And not just because of her fair skin that he often admired, but because Julia felt like an unfamiliar substance to him. Her differences with him made her unique to him, and the learning curve of getting to know a new person bloomed a wonderful passion for care-taking in Brian. He had already been working hard at becoming a social worker, but the enlightening notion he felt from learning about Julia gave him a new lens on the world around him. She told him minimally about her struggles, but his inherent introspective intuition gave him insight that she must have lived like a fish swimming in gasoline for most of her life, and that—not that he wanted to admit the fact—made Brian pity Julia, and pity was the key to acceptance when taking care of another creature.

He had found the yogurt in the dairy aisle, and ignored the wheels of the cart the best he could as the hunk of metal junk kept veering to the left and catching every discount tag that stuck off of the shelves. Thinking of the bland taste of the food at the hospital, Brian decided that normal crackers would not suffice for his taste buds; and most likely if not for him, not for anyone else. He took a sharp left turn out of the dairy section, which chilled his skin and made his body shiver without control, and whipped the cart straight away into the adjacent aisle. The non-perishable aisle. Scouring the shelves while walking by like a mosquito choosing the perfect donor to raise her child, Brian spotted the graham crackers. The sweet, honey-like flavor he knew would go well with the vanilla yogurt that he grabbed from the dairy section.

Checking out, his total came to a little under ten dollars. Brian shook his head at himself and decided he needed a better job than just doing "whatever [he] can to make some cash," and kicked himself for the very words he said all those years ago not wanting to be stuck in a boring steady job as a teenager. Leaving the store, he saw a red Buick drive by the parking lot onto route 19 which would, if followed long enough, lead to his house. He thought of his Mother, who he had complete ability to contact during his time away, though he chose not to. Brian did not want to force too many things, or people, onto his plate while taking care of Julia—going to college and doing his work on the side, getting Julia's assignments at odd times, and taking somewhat in depth care of her was enough for him at the time being.

When Brian finally managed to get back to the hospital, the Sun was descending in the west. He felt like a husband in the 1950s coming home from a long day in advertising; drained from the amount of work done in spite of it not being much at all.

"Get me a cigarette would ya?" he said to himself aloud, as he grabbed the bag of food from his passenger seat, then chuckled.

The hospital doors were automatic, and so was the elevator, but Brian chose to take the stairs even though he knew he would be taking Julia out to the pond after they enjoyed some yogurt and graham crackers. He did not need the extra cardio, but he strove to be better in all aspects of himself when time came to learn physical therapy routines.

When Brian entered Julia's hospital room, he had to open the door; which felt odd because she always enjoyed the cross-breeze coming from the open door and window; Doctor Foster was in the room when he crossed through.

"Hey, what's going on?" Brian asked, placing the plastic bag of food on the floor besides the green chair he grew an attachment to.

"Julia had a lot of pain in her leg this hour," Doctor Foster explained, "so I am giving her an injection of her pain medicine."

Brian leaned over to see Julia behind the Doc, and she smiled at him.

"Don't worry, it won't make me goofy for another half an hour or so." Julia said, obviously catching his thoughts, "I would still like to go out to the pond even so," she turned to Doctor Foster, "if that is okay."

Doctor Foster nodded yes, and asked Brian what he had brought along with him. He revealed the surprise snacks, and Julia lit up like the dawning of the Sun over the pond outside the window.

After the injection, Doctor Foster pulled Brian out into the hall before leaving the room, and informed him that the medicine given to Julia would act somewhat like an anesthetic that would usually be administered at a dentists' office. "So don't ask her anything you don't want to know," she said, before leaving to go to another patient's room.

Brian understood what she said, but knew that would not be a problem. When he went back in the room, Julia had already opened the graham crackers and was using them as a spoon for the vanilla flavored yogurt. Brian enjoyed it just the same. As they ate, conversation of food sprung up and Brian asked about her favorite food as any rightful person would do.

"Well, I don't really pick favorites very much," she said, "but there is this one place that I loved as a child and still love to this day."

"And what might that be?" Brian asked, zealous.

"A little Chinese place, called Peking Duck. They have honey chicken that has a beautiful mixture between fried and sweet—I cannot get enough of it when I'm there."

"I've never heard of them," Brian said, "but I do love some Chinese food to really turn my stomach upside down the next morning." They both laughed...

Time came, before the Sun completely descended, to take their evening wander. Outside the air felt smooth and flowed into both of their lungs with ease compared to the certain stale and sterile hospital smells.

Brian watched Julia as she gazed into the pond and looked up above at the few leaves falling from shedding trees. He breathed out with a pleasant sigh.

"It's nice out, isn't it?" Julia asked, her question sounding more to the trees.

But Brian still responded with a: "Yes, it is."

He could tell her medicine started to kick in, because her words slurred slightly when speaking, like she was losing motor functionality. Before she was fully gone, he had but just one question to ask her, but the morals inside him debated whether to wait for the morning due to the truth serum-like substance in her system. Another sigh, but this time with a hint of sorrow.

"Julia," he said, and she looked up at him half paying attention, "do you enjoy having me around?"

Julia looked away, and said nothing for a while.

Brian wanted to speak again, but fought with himself over the propagandic medicine.

"Growing up was hard, in school, as a girl with nobody—not even parents." Julia said, with every other word mumbled and sounding like it was spoken in sloppy cursive.

Brian bent down to hear her clearly.

"So having someone around that is not trying to hurt me...feels nice." Her R's started to sound more and more like W's, and Brian decided turning in for the night was best.

But the feeling of having robbed Julia of her innermost thoughts burned him in a way that made his stomach queasy. He swore to himself, not to confront her under medication again.