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Sweet, salty, and oily aroma filled the room and clogged the noses of them both with a pleasant familiarity that held a candle close to Julia's heart. The taste of the sweet honey chicken in her mouth rang bells of her taste buds cheerfully, and the gesture Brian made by bringing the food gave a certain endearing sheen to his appearance; like she was wearing drunk goggles designed for imitated affection. Julia did not think of herself quick to be won over, given her own affairs and experiences with past peers, but the presence of comforting food glazed her over with serotonin.
"Thank you, for the food," she said, and her words traveled up in the hospital room like hot air above all the sweet fragrances.
Brian looked up, but did not make complete eye contact with her as he usually did. "No problem," his words were quiet and felt reserved to the soul.
"Is something wrong?" Julia asked, picking up instantly at his obvious shift in regular enthusiasm.
He did not look up from his food, let alone answer the question.
Maybe he is thinking about the upcoming days, Julia thought, but that still gives him no right to ignore me. Her frustration welled up blindly and she repeated his name with more angst; awry from her intended dominant sound.
He looked up this time around.
"Well?"
"What?" he returned, sounding like a child that had just been disciplined.
"Is there something wrong?"
"No," he said instantly, but subliminally his face spoke another message.
"Brian what is going on?"
"I'm just enjoying my food." He gave a thin smile that looked like two pencil-drawn lines converging at either end to make a mouth. His face was a pinkish color, a flushed red above a pale complexion.
Julia exhaled with a sigh. Anger had initially taken place in her lower chest and upper stomach, but eventually it turned into unease and disappointment. She thought to herself, have I been too harsh on Brian? Have I been too demanding? I wonder if he is having second thoughts. In a subtle panic, Julia realized that she needed to understand what he was feeling and pull the emotions out of his throat whether he wanted to share or not. Brian was her only hope at recovery without being up to her chin in debt; and maybe, her only shot at finding friendship throughout her college years, even if it was just more than a fair weather greeting.
"Brian." she said, bold and determined.
He had already looked back down at his food, but his eyes crept upward at her.
"If something is going on, you need to tell me. How are we supposed to connect if communication is mute?"
He was chewing when she said this, and he paused the motion once all of the words left her lips and swallowed hard all the food that was shoved in his mouth. His face became drawn and lines appeared around his brow and eyes. Hesitance devoured his face.
"Well?" Julia echoed.
"I'm sorry," his words came out like a flushed gust of wind in an enervated breath.
Julia did not respond to his proposal, but instead cocked her head to the side. She did not understand what his apology represented, or why he had said one. Ultimately she found herself at a barrier between herself and Brian, but before she could speak to break the silence he picked up where he left off.
"Yesterday," his voice continued in the same wisp of air from before, "Doctor Foster told me not to 'ask questions I don't want answers to' while you were under the influence of that medicine, because it acted like laughing gas or something." He stopped, and audibly cleared his throat.
None of what Brian had said cleared the air for Julia, and still she was stuck in a haze of confusion.
"I invaded your privacy!" His voice was clear now, and bold, but had an undertone of an upset shriek, "I asked you what you thought of me and you shared part of your past with me when you weren't ready!" His hand had dropped the plastic fork he held, and both covered his face with ashamedness.
The explanation made sense to Julia, in the context of why Brian felt the way he did, but still struck her silly with a false arrow on why exactly he had been apologizing. She remembered the very same interaction the day previous, and recognized the fuzzy feeling contained in her head; it made her feel like the chair beneath her was made of cotton candy. Nonetheless, she also recalled answering the question per her own will, rather than whatever science-fiction truth serum Brian was attempting to describe.
"Brian," Julia said, with a lightness in her voice that resembled the giggle of a child, "did you go all the way to Peking Duck because you felt bad about that?"
Solemnly and sullenly, Brian nodded his head.
"I was awake," she said, "that whole time. I knew what I was saying to you. It is nice to have someone around that feels like they're not out to get me or that I can't trust them with even general knowledge about myself."
His face turned a different shade of red when she finished. He struggled to make eye contact it seemed, even more than before.
"I'm not that easy, you know."
His cheeks flushed a bright red like the room had turned negative temperatures. "I just thought—"
"That's what you get for thinking!" Julia chuckled.
The remaining food on both of their take-out boxes got eaten afterwards. Brian took Julia down to the pond, to look at the water before sunset trespassed in their evening. She breathed in the cool air, and it filled her lungs with a definite gratitude.
"Thank you," she said, "for the food."
Brian looked down at her from his gaze past the pond.
"And for your kindness."
He smiled, a full and thoughtlessly thoughtful smile.
YOU ARE READING
Unsuspecting Blessing.
RomanceAfter an accident, Julia, a college sophmore, finds herself in a life-altering situation with a boy she barely knows. He vows to be her crutch on the road to recovery, but is he prepared to truly devout himself to such a task? Will the two of them...