xxxi
Brian left, saying he was going to talk to his Mom. But he did not tell me what about. I felt an increasing dreadful anxiety rise in my stomach, but not for his safety. Despite the encroaching darkness from the Sun descending, he would be capable no matter what. But, I thought, would I be capable even in the security of my own home? I did not worry for Brian's safety, but instead for my own. A mephitic bitterness held itself in my mouth like a sickly bacteria and I knew if I were to speak the only thing that would come out would be tears; my face felt flushed and puffy like an allergy attack, but that was not the case.
Will I be safe? I asked myself, Will I be safe from my own hands? The pale skin never looked quite so weak, so feeble and useless. Brian does all the work, I thought, and all I do is struggle. Brian does all that can be done for me, and for the house. And how do I repay him? With nothing, I thought, I offer nothing to him. I suspected he was falling out of contentedness with me and forming some sort of loathing that an abused care-taker would develop after some time.
I want to hurt for as much as I make him hurt, I thought; I want to hurt myself.
An hour of cowardice and nothingness passed since Brian had left. I gave myself an hour, that is what I made my timeframe. I knew by then, since he claimed his visit would be quick, that he was hiding from me—seeking sanctuary in a far away place.
Then, as I got up and hobbled to the kitchen, the door burst open and the coolness of the darkening night diffused into the room with a sweet bite on the skin that made me shiver.
Brian, I thought, the fates have changed.
YOU ARE READING
Unsuspecting Blessing.
RomanceAfter an accident, Julia, a college sophmore, finds herself in a life-altering situation with a boy she barely knows. He vows to be her crutch on the road to recovery, but is he prepared to truly devout himself to such a task? Will the two of them...
