Alternate Battle for Dream Island

ABFDI 1a: Plunge Into Madness

Roaming those vast green fields were nineteen of some of the most uncouth, immature fools the planet Earth had ever seen.

Golf Ball often sat back and watched them from afar from a nearby hilltop, not wanting any part of their riffraff; she feared that their lack of intellect was potent that it could start affecting her and make her forget a few things. For the most part, she remained silent and just watched all of them go about their daily nonsense, getting themselves into all sorts of trouble in increasingly nonsensical and chaotic ways. She kept a sharp eye on everything that they did, seeing how they came up with the idea, how they chose to enact it, and how it ended up. Along the way, she'd keep detailed mental notes: why on Earth did they choose to do what they did? Why do they continue to do what they're doing now? When are they ever going to stop, if ever? What exactly is driving them to continue being so naive, so unaware? How did it make them *feel*? Surely there was something, some rhyme or reason to it all. It racked her brain to think about even the slightest possibility that they, as they often told her, did things just *because*. Everything was done for a reason, right? Was it for entertainment? If so, why did it have to be so *harmful*? Did they not think about their insignificant place on the planet, in the universe? Why, in a world so open with possibilities, so full of unanswered questions, do they choose to plug their ears and

"HEY! GB!"

The sudden shout completely derailed her train of thought. "*WHAT*?" The diminutive despot turned to face whoever *dared* interrupt her brooding; it was that brash, bronze-colored coin, a typical example of the kind of people she had to put up with every day. Accompanying him was that living flame, a roaring fire as mysterious as he was incompetent. "Where is it, huh?" Coiny the coin asked. "Where's *what*?" Golf Ball's patience was already wearing thin. "Where's that *definitive* proof that Firey is *so* dumb?" Golf Ball groaned. "I don't have it." She answered. "I don't have any proof, so it's just conjecture-" "WHAT?" Coiny was bewildered. "HAH!" Firey the fire mocked the coin creature. "I knew it! You were just-" "GRR!" And Coiny went to give Golf Ball a good slap, as if it was her fault; she was sent rolling down the hill, and probably would've kept going for a good while to, were it not for an unexpected obstacle in the way. Golf Ball was relieved for a moment upon stopping... only to immediately do a 180 the moment she saw what- well, *who* -stopped her. "Gah!" Golf Ball cringed in disgust upon seeing the massive, yellow, disgusting sponge looming over her. "Uh oh!" All that force was transferred to Spongy upon impact, which caused him to quickly fall over.

Pen the living pen was unfortunate enough to be in the path of destruction, and so got crushed under Spongy's massive weight; Eraser, the friend he was talking to, was lucky enough to *just* be out of the way. "Eraser! HELP!" Pen's muffled screams could just be heard. "I got you!" Eraser quickly rushed to help his friend; he'd seize Pen's arm with both hands and started pulling with all his might. Within a few seconds, the writing utensil was freed from Spongy's stinky grasp. Pen took a deep breath. "Thanks, bud." He'd sigh. "I owe you one." "No need." Eraser replied. "It wasn't your fault; it was that disgusting Spongy that couldn't stop himself from falling over. Grr!" The one that could only destroy would kick a rock (that just so happened to also be living, go figure) towards Spongy, dealing a nasty blow. "oof!" Rocky gasped. "Sorry, Spongy!" "Alright, what's all this?" A living snowball entered the scene, being rather angry. "I was trying to sleep!" "Sorry, pal." Eraser shrugged. "Pen here got crushed by Spongy, and I helped him out." "Ew! That's gross." Snowball instinctively took a step back. "I know, right?" Pen cringed. "I'm gonna smell awful for weeks!" "You *already* smelled." Eraser quipped, and much laughter was had. During that, however, a tennis ball would quickly run past. "GB! ARE YOU OKAY?" He'd shout. "YOU TOO! CUT IT OUT!" Snowball shouted back. "How would you like it if I started screaming while you tried to sleep?"

Tennis Ball paid no attention to him, however; he was Golf Ball's associate, the closest thing she had to an actual friend. "GB, you alright?" He'd repeat. "What happened? Are you hurt?" Golf Ball groaned. "I'm fine." She replied. "A bit hurt, but fine." "Someone got hurt?" A talking leaf would make their surprise appearance. "TB, you need help getting her up?" "No need, Leafy." Tennis Ball answered while watching Golf Ball get herself up. "I'm surprised you actually cared about me, though." Golf Ball remarked. "Thanks. I guess." "Aw, don't mention it!" Leafy smiled. "What're friends for, after all?" The two balls looked at each other, then back at Leafy. The ball used for golf raised an eyebrow. "I don't really think we're-" "Speaking of which, can you help me out with a little *something*?" Leafy continued; Golf Ball hesitated for a moment, then looked back at Spongy groaning behind her. "Sure. Why not." "I've been talking with Teardrop for a while now; well, I've been *trying* to, anyway. I've said so much and yet she hasn't opened her mouth once!" "Yeah, she does that." Tennis Ball remarked. "GB here thinks she just doesn't wanna talk to anyone." "Why not?" Leafy frowned. "Does she not want to make friends?" She paused for a moment. "Just help me with getting her to talk for a moment, please?" Golf Ball sighed. "Alright."

The three of them made their way over to the aforementioned Teardrop, sitting down on her own and minding her own business. "Hiya, TD!" Leafy exclaimed. "I brought a few pals along to keep the conversation going!" "Still not talking, huh?" Golf Ball asked Teardrop, who'd simply shake her head in response. "Well, we're done here." Golf Ball concluded. "Hey!" Leafy interjected. "You're just gonna quit, just like that? Whatever happened to you always seeking answers to questions?" Golf Ball sighed. "Leafy, sometimes there just *aren't* any answers to questions." She'd explain. "Well, technically there *are* answers, it's just that they're too hard to get with what we have, which basically means there aren't any. I've done at least 2,763 tests with Teardrop here and she just isn't budging. What's the point of research if we're not getting anywhere?" She'd turn away. "I'm gonna go and study something that has even the *slightest* possibility of an answer, like figuring out why Woody is so afraid of *everything*." She'd point to the aforementioned block of wood. "One of these days I'll figure it all out. Then all those days of dealing with his screaming would've all been worth it." "Well, do you need help with that?" Leafy asked. "No thanks." Golf Ball walked away, and Tennis Ball was quick to follow. "Things could get loud."

As the two balls made their way over to the piece of wood, they struck up a quick little conversation. "Experiment number 276." Golf Ball muttered. "Going to see if Woody is going to react the same way towards Needle." Tennis Ball nodded. "WOODY!" He'd then shout. "LOOK BEHIND YOU!" The balsa boy then promptly did just that and saw the previously mentioned sewing needle behind him, a sharp implement that could potentially be used to injure him, or *worse*. He then proceeded to do the same thing he did in response to most things around him; scream and run away. "Hmph." Golf Ball scoffed. "Figures." Another character, a wooden block by the name of Blocky, would also be interested. "Hmm..." Without a moment to spare, he'd suddenly pick up Needle and start running. "Woody! C'mere!" Woody would quickly notice and would continue running, beginning a wild chase that lasted for a few minutes. Every time the block was just about able to take a stab at the piece of wood, Woody would somehow manage to find another boost of energy to keep on running, to keep on evading his grasp. Eventually, however, the energy would drain from the unfortunate one; Woody would stumble and fall onto the ground, and Blocky would stand triumphant over his defeated enemy. Quite a few people would take notice and would watch him prepare to start hitting, but all wouldn't try to step in, try to act like a hero.

All but one, anyway.

"Blocky! Stop that!" Pin would emerge from the small crowd that had developed, being more than willing to go far, *far* closer than they were all willing to. "Put Needle down and stop harassing Woody!" The spectators started whispering and murmuring. Pin was known for being one of the bigger names among this group of delinquents; one of the odd few that bothered to try to keep order among everyone, to serve as some sort of leader. Some admired how she defended those who were unfortunate (a good number of them didn't have any arms), while others saw all of it as a great bore. After all, in a world with absolutely nobody to tell you what's right and wrong, why would you actively choose to hamper yourself by caring about others? That's a rational way to think, right? "And what if I don't?" Blocky threateningly waved Needle around. "Then you're gonna have to go through me." Pin took yet another, *extremely* brave step forward. "Ugh." Blocky groaned. "Why do you care so much, anyway?" He'd ask. "Woody's a *loser*! It's only doing you more harm than good to care about him! Is it gonna kill you to see him get hurt?" "Letting you keep doing this is *also* gonna do more harm than good." Pin folded her arms. "So, are you gonna back down, or are we gonna have to fight?" Blocky weighed his options for a moment, wondering if bullying the helpless was worth fighting for.

Yes. Absolutely.

In an instant, Blocky would use Needle like a baseball bat, striking Pin before she could react and sending her flying; she flew for a good few seconds before crashing back down onto the ground, hitting and popping an innocent, defenseless bubble along the way. A few seconds later, a curious little device would start whirring and humming, and within a few seconds would produce that same Bubble, dazed and confused by what just happened. An animate inanimate ice cube would rush to the scene. "Bubble! What happened?" Ice Cube asked. "Oh, Oicy, it was horrible!" Bubble complained. "Pin suddenly came out of nowhere and popped me! Oi didn't even know what hit me!" "Tell me about it!" Ice Cube replied. "A while ago, Flower kicked me because I said she wasn't beautiful!" "I HEARD THAT!" That same flower, the exemplar of putting oneself above others, quickly ran over to them. "Oh noio!" Bubble panicked. "Quick, let's go ask Pencil and Match for help!" She'd say, and Ice Cube nodded in agreement; they ran over to those two, who were deep in conversation, while Flower was in pursuit. "Match! Pencil!" Bubble shouted. "Stop Floiwer!" Just as the plant arrived at the scene, Pencil would step in between her and Bubble. "Stop right there." She'd interject. "Outta my way!" Flower shouted. "I need-" "Perhaps she wasn't, like, being clear enough." Match joined in. "*Stop*. Are you gonna, or do I have to, like, spread the word that you're disgusted by bugs?"

The threat of blackmail seemed to do the trick; Flower squinted at her in anger then walked away, defeated. "Thoinks!" Bubble exclaimed. "Like, no problem, bub." Match replied. "Just remember that you, like, owe me." "Thanks!" Ice Cube also chimed in. "Oh." Match glanced at the block of frozen water. "You exist." "Hey, Match!" Ice Cube had a weary smile on her face. "Can I be your friend?" "Let me stop you right there." Pencil went in front of her. "I'd *love* to consider you my friend and all, but there's quite a few things in the way." "Loik what, exactly?" Bubble stepped in to defend Ice Cube. "What makes her any different from me? You guys keep me around, why not her?" "Bubble, you're already on thin ice as it is." Pencil interjected. "Please don't-" "Well, like, of course we wanna be your friend!" Match suddenly chimed in. "Really?" Ice Cube's eyes widened. "Like, yeah!" Match replied. "The more friends, the better, right?" Pencil glanced at her, disgusted. "Match, you're not *seriously*-" "Thanks!" Ice Cube exclaimed. "You're, like, welcome." Match replied. "Now, if you excuse us, we just gotta, like, talk about how you'll be a valuable addition to the team. C'mon, Pence-Pence!" Pencil tried to protest, but Match already wrapped her arm around hers and started dragging her away.

Bubble and Ice Cube were just out of earshot when Pencil managed to free herself. "Match! What was *that*?" She'd complained. "You aren't *actually* gonna befriend Ice Cube, are you? She's-" "Like, of course not." Match interrupted, quickly calming her fears. "I just told her, like, what she wanted to hear. You and I both know that she wasn't gonna, like, go away if I didn't." Pencil sighed. "But now that she thinks we're actually friends, she's gonna follow us around *more*! It's only gonna get worse!" Match sighed as well. "I suppose that's, like, no good." She conceded. "But that's fine. We can, like, cross that bridge when we get there. For now, like, we can enjoy this silence." And they spent a few seconds taking it all in. It *was* pretty good silence; the only other time you could feel it with those fools around was in the middle of the night, when everyone was asleep. "Isn't that, like, nice?" Match asked. "Yeah." Pencil nodded. "But it'd be nice to enjoy it for longer, you know?" She'd grumble. "Feels like we can't go five minutes into a conversation without Firey and Coiny slapping each other, or Blocky pulling another one of his pranks, or Woody screaming." She'd look up at the sky. "I wish we could get away from that, you know? I wish there was a place where it was just us, and we never have to deal with those bozos ever again."

Nothing could possibly prepare her for the fact that she *just* might get her wish.