You saved me Maddie

Remedies.

And I was in a therapists office, sitting in a blue armchair. My new therapist was a middle aged woman, blonde with blue eyes. Even though I heard her talk it was like I wasn't really there. The world felt distant, blurry and I didn't know how to make it close and clear again. Every word she said sounded muffled and quiet.
Maddie picked me up from the therapists office after an hour of counselling and I told her what my therapist told me.
"She thinks I may have ptsd and depression." The words feeling shameful and dirty as they spilled out of my mouth.
Maddie gave me one of her comforting smiles and grabbed my hand.
"It's going to be okay" she told me.
As we were walking to the car someone patted me on the shoulder. I turned around to see Linda, from the tsunami chaos, standing there.
"Ellie, hi" she smiled, her brown curls moving with the wind.
"Linda" was the only thing I could say.
I forced a smile to not look rude.
"It's so good to see you" she told me.
"You too" I smiled.
She looked so much more put together than the last time I saw her, though the circumstance were drastically different.
"Mom?" a voice from behind Linda asked.
A girl came walking toward Linda. Her brown hair bouncing up and down as she walked. The girl walked over to Linda and took her hand. They were so similar, Linda and the girl.
"Ellie this is Mila, who I told you about" Linda gestured to her.
Mila reached forward to shake my hand and smiled, revealing her braces.
"Hi, my mom told me a few things about you" she said as I grabbed my hand.
"She told me a lot about you too" I smiled.
My eyes met her hazelnut eyes and she smiled.
"Is this your mom?" Linda asked, looking over at Maddie.
"Yes, hi" Maddie shook Lindas hand. "I've heard about what you did for my daughter, I'm eternally grateful"
My daughter. That made my stomach feel all warm and full.
"I wouldn't know how to repay you" Maddie continued speaking. "Maybe we could have you over for dinner someday?"
Linda looked over at Mila, who smiled and nodded.
"If it's okay if I bring her" Linda smiled, gesturing to her daughter.
"Of course" Maddie smiled.
Tomorrow, that's when they were going to come over for dinner. Linda and Maddie traded numbers before we parted. Maddie was smiling all the way back and I couldn't help but do the same. When we got home Maddie went through the mailbox and handed me an envelope addressed to me. I ripped it opened and unfolded the white piece of printer paper. When I read the first row my heart skipped a beat and my breath got stuck in my throat. I dropped the letter, hearing it softly hit the floor. Maddie noticed and turned around to look at me and said something but I couldn't hear anything over my heart beating in my ears. I couldn't breathe. My throat was closing in. Maddies hand on my arm brought me back to the real world.
"Ellie what's wrong?" Concern in her voice and all over her face.
I couldn't speak, the words feeling impossible and painful. Maddie bent down and picked up the paper, her face losing colour as she read it.
"You're called to court next week" she finally said.
Maddie looked over at me.
"We need to get inside" she said before dragging me up the stairs into our apartment.
When we got inside Maddie slammed the door shut and turned to me.
"Ellie?" She asked, her voice now coated in fear. "Are you okay?"
Okay. Such a simple question. My words got stuck in my throat and they came out as a small exhale.
"Ellie" Maddie grabbed my hands "look at me".
I lifted my gaze off the floor and looked at her.
"It's okay" she told me, unsure what to say.
I shook my head, it wasn't okay.
"I don't want to see him again" my words came out as a whisper.
"I know" she said gently. "But if you go it's going to be easier to put him in jail."
"What if they don't believe me?" I felt the world shaking beneath my feet. "Will I have to go back to him?"
My breath caught in my throat again as I said my biggest fear out loud. I felt Maddie putting her hand against my cheek.
"Never" her voice firm and determined.
Maddie put me on the sofa and made us dinner, or she warmed leftovers from the microwave but I didn't want to eat, I felt sick to my stomach. My legs felt numb, like walking was impossible. After she had tried to get me to eat something Maddie gave up and pulled me in to a hug. She stroked my back and whispered that it was going it be okay and then the tears started rolling down my cheeks.