𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚

014.

we laid in my bed, hours after celebrating my birthday, me and bey continued to celebrate my birthday as she showered me with so much love. i laid on my back as my arm wrapped around beyoncé's body, her front laying on my front. our bodies couldn't get any closer, we laid as one, rubbing our hands against each other's exposed skin.

"angel?" i whispered, as i realised the time, 2:46am on the clock. we really should be asleep but i didn't want the night to end, so i refused to close my eyes.

"mhm?" she hummed, feeling the vibrations against my neck as she hid her face in my neck.

i contemplated bringing this up with beyoncé, scared to feel a little too vulnerable so soon. i was so big on allowing myself to be a safe space for beyoncé and her children. let them talk to me about anything, allow them to be vulnerable around me and not be scared to open up.

but when it was the other way around, i was scared. i never had that in my life growing up, having another person i could willingly talk to about my problems where they would just sit there and listen to me vent about problems, about things that were weighing me down. but i was that person for many people.

but if we were building this relationship i had to learn to be open, learn to be willing to grow with beyoncé, learn to lean on her just as she did with me.

"i wanted to speak to you about something for a while but never knew when it was the right time-" before i could finish, her head lifted from the warm space in my neck, her eyebrows furrowed. "you regret what we did?"

my eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "what- no. beyoncé of course i don't regret tonight." i tightened my embrace around her, pecking her lips. a smile appeared on both of our faces, one as big as the other, matching the same energy, "i could never regret it, i loved it actually."

my hand travelled down her lower back as her leg rested around my torso.

"it's about my dad." i said barely above a whisper.

her hand raised to my cheek, rubbing her thumb over it as she nodded for me to continue speaking.

"before he passed away we had a conversation about me settling down, that's all he's ever wanted for me for the longest, he claimed that i was lonely. i mean i was but not that lonely." i chuckled, as i could feel the tears about to appear.

"he said to me when i find someone i love and i know in my heart it's the person i want to spend the rest of my life with he would love to meet that person. we both knew he wouldn't be here, i knew he wouldn't have that much time on earth to physically see me experience love." and the tears started to escape. rolling my cheeks, beyoncé would wipe them away as soon as they started to leave my eyes. leaving small kisses after she wiped them away.

"i loved him so much bey, he was my best friend. i love my momma dearly, we all know that but the love i shared with my dad was different, nobody could compare to that. i owe him that, to introduce you to him, that's what he's always wanted, to meet the person i love dearly."

she nodded. "in new york?" she asked softly.

i nodded, "is it weird that i'm asking you to come to the grave? it's not like you can speak to him but for me it's more like a spiritual thing. if not you don't have to of course, i'm not forcing you."

she shook her head, immediately cutting me off placing a kiss on my lips, both smiling into the kiss. she leaned back, stared deeply into my eyes, as if she was staring into my soul, what she did best. "baby, you don't have to explain, i understand. thank you for opening up to me about it. you tell me when you want to go and i'll be there."