Travis Kelce's daughter

12

09.02.2023
Saturday

Dorothea's pov

When i woke up, i just opened my eyes and stayed in the same position.

It's the weekend and i have no plans so i could let myself stay in bed.

My mind immediately went into overdrive, thinking about my dad and Taylor.

Last night when i couldn't fall asleep, i realized that Taylor is starting to care too much about me.

She's supposed to be focused on my dad and not me. I'm not worth her attention.

I saw how she was glancing at my plate at dinner yesterday, she looked slightly concerned. And when we were watching grey's she was cuddling me instead of my dad.

She's Taylor Swift, she's supposed to spend her time with my dad and be happy instead of wasting her time worrying about me.

I have to start pushing her away a little bit and paint a picture of being okay.

She can't be worried about me, she'll see how much of a burden i am and it will just weigh down her and my dad's relationship.

I need to become the 'perfect daughter' again' like how i used to be. Everyone used to praise me for being a perfect child my whole childhood, i never caused any problems.

Besides my teachers sending me to the shrink a few times, i was completely unproblematic.

I mean, i've been keeping my head down and causing no problems in public, at least school attending and behavior wise, but i didn't have much need to act normally around food.

Dad is thankfully slightly oblivious to my eating habits, he loves me but i've never actually told him about the fact that i used to have an eating disorder when i moved in with him.

He unknowingly helped me recover from that dark state of mind.

When i first moved in with him, i was depressed, anxious, suicidal to the point where i couldn't even imagine making it to the next day without offing myself and self harming practically every day. In addition to that, my ED was at it's peak. I practically lived in my bed and had absolutely no energy.

After moving in with him, he supported me and somehow managed to show me that there is hope in life.

Slowly but surely, my depression got better, i stopped cutting everyday and started forcing myself to eat the food that dad brought me. The constant suicidal thoughts turned into passive suicidal ideation.

After a few months, i was eating normally and keeping it down. I ate everything that i wanted, using music and movies as distraction on harder days, but eventually i stopped even caring about calories.

I didn't start thinking positively about my body, but i accepted it how it was. When looking at the mirror i only paid attention to my face and clothes, forbidding myself to body-check.

However a few months ago, when i was walking by the mirror, for some reason i stopped.

•••••••• a few months ago •••••••••

My expression turned into a frown as i started inspecting how i looked.

I must've had better self control when i was younger.

My ribs were clearly visible when i was a kid but you can barely see their outline now.

My stomach also looks gigantic. It sticks out way too much.

Were my arms always this big? I can barely wrap my hand around my wrist anymore.

I need to lose weight.