In Every Universe | Quinn Hughes

27 | Lily

36 Hours Earlier

QUINN HAD TOLD ME HE WAS STAYING AT HIS PARENTS UNTIL THE DRAFT, and even though he'd kissed me two nights ago and everything felt okay again, I knew deep down that it wasn't. This wasn't something we could just come back from within a blink of an eye. I loved Quinn, I did, and maybe a part of me would always love him, but I also loved Jack.

Not on purpose, and definitely not the way I loved Quinn, but enough to make me feel like I was going to be eternally fighting with my own feelings, and I was afraid.

Afraid that it would happen again, that if Jack and I were left alone together we might end up in bed, and afraid that Quinn would never trust me, and I would never trust him. I know he was moving away, but there was a chance that he wasn't, and, regardless of everything, I felt so much pressure on me to pick Quinn, even if he left, but what did that mean for Jack?

What if Quinn did leave? And Jack and I were left here? Was I still meant to wait for Quinn? Was I meant to watch Jack move on and fall in love happily while I waited for his brother?

And what if he never came home again? What if he realised all of these feelings were only there because I was right in front of him.

We needed space. All of us.

And so, I snuck into the boys house, returned Quinn's all time favourite hoodie in the world that I'd had for a year now, and I accepted that this was it. I was going to let Quinn, and Jack, go.

Because, taking myself out of the equation was a lot easier than choosing between two boys that held equal parts of my heart.

Maybe he wouldn't understand, but it didn't matter; because I needed this. I needed time, distance, to get my thoughts together, to not be in love with two people at once, brothers for that matter.

I glance around his bedroom one final time, feeling my chest closing up, I would miss this. Him. Us. Everything.

But it was already done and I had already booked the flight, already packed my stuff, already had my college transfer approved. I wouldn't be in an Ivy League school anymore, but it didn't matter, I'd be free of this.

I'm about to leave the house, my head down as I barrel for the door, but then there's a girl blocking my way. She's got long brunette hair, light brown eyes that are sort of like honey and  a curious frown on her face as she puzzles me out.

"You're her, aren't you?" She says, and I know instantly that she somehow, knows everything. I have no idea who this girl is, only that she was in the Hughes household alone, so that meant at least one of the brothers trusted her enough to leave her here unattended.

My bets were on Jack, and then my heart aches in a strange needy way, because I still yearned for Jack deep down.

"I have to go," I tell her quietly, pushing past her.

He grabs my wrist. "He doesn't deserve this, you know."

I scowl at her. "You don't know anything."

"Maybe," she shrugs. "But I know that Jack is good, and his heart is pure, he doesn't deserve the be left in the dust."

"I'm not leaving because of Jack," I tell her firmly, though, my voice shakes. "I am leaving because I have to, because it's better for all of us."

She lets go of my wrist.

"Look after him for me," I tell her, and she knows I mean Jack.

"I'll look after him for him," she frowns, and I already love the way she defends him. This girl was a keeper. I smile at her, turning to walk away. "What about his brother?"

Glancing over my shoulder, I throw my words at her like weapons. "He's leaving anyway, so it doesn't matter."

She's got nothing to say to that, and I drive away watching her stand in the Hughes doorway, hugging her chest, phone to her ear as she no doubt calls Jack to inform him.

I was running out of time. I felt the walls closing in on me, the way Quinn had said he loved me, but I couldn't say it back. Not because I didn't love him too, bruised I did, god, I did. But I didn't love him with all of my heart, and that was unfair.

He's leaving.

I had to get away from here, if it was the last thing I did.