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𝐍𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐃, how many pills he popped, and how much he drank you always lingered in his mind. Nothing worked, you would always somehow end up in his mind no matter what. He would try to think about something else but he could never take his mind off you. It was like you cursed his mind. He would try to deny it but deep down he knew he still loved you. He loved you so much it was driving him crazy.
He missed you, he regret breaking up with you, hurting you emotionally most importantly. He would never forgive himself. On his worst days he would find himself staring at your contact, wondering if you would pick up if he called. It was eating him up on the inside. He wanted to call you, hold you, kiss you. He wanted you to comfort him, kiss his forehead, hold him while he slept and assure him that everything was going to be okay.
But he knew nothing would ever be the same again, all because of him. All the thoughts were making him go insane, all the 'what ifs' were eating at his insides. What if he just called? Would you be kind and welcoming like you always were with him or shut him out and away. He wanted to know.
He was starting to hate himself even more as the days went by, the fact that you werent there to keep him steady was too much for him to handle.
Ever since you left, he wasnt okay, he needed help. Your help. So, thats how he ended up pressing the facetime button on your contact, waiting for you to pick up. He was so deep in his thoughts he didnt even notice your face popping up in that little corner on his phone.
"hello?" Your voice snapping him out of his strance. He couldnt even speak, he just stared at your face that he missed so dearly through the screen. He wanted to apologize, beg you to stay, to come back to him but he knew that wasnt what you needed right now and neither did he.
Your heart broke at the sight of him, he looked absolutely horrible. You felt horrible knowing you were probably the cause of this. You just wanted to jump into his arms and hold him tight letting him know that you were there for him.
"baby im sorry...i need you. i...i need help." He finally mumbled into the phone after much silence. His voice cracked near the end and your heart broke even more. His heart was crying for you, he couldnt take it anymore. He needed to see you.
