|| INCARCERATE || CENTRAL CEE ||

CHEATER

        "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" I yell at Jacob through the phone. "Baby, I'm sorry! I didn't even do anything with her, we couldn't cause we had to film." He breathes through the phone. "So if you weren't filming what then?" I yell. I try to keep my calm since I knew Cade was still streaming. "I don't know because nothing happened." He argues. "You're a fucking asshole." I say through my teeth. "I'm the asshole? You left to the U.K without me! This is what happens when you leave!" He talks louder.

    "Are you serious? So I have to babysit you everyday?" I ask aggressively. There was silence in the room. "We didn't do anything baby." He utters. "I'm fucking done. I'm fucking done Jacob and don't bother calling again cause I'm BLOCKING you."  I yell into the phone. "Baby wait-" I hung up before he could say anything else. I throw my phone on the bed and let out a loud grunt. I hate him, this wasn't the first time he cheated on me, he's always promised me that he wouldn't do it again over and over.

   I grab a joint rolled up in my drawer and head outside. I sit at a swing seat that was in the backyard being held up by two huge willow cherry trees. I spark up the joint between my lips and take a long pull. I exhale letting my body relax with it. I look up at the moon that was sitting right in the middle of the sky. "Hey." Someone says behind me causing me to jump.

   "Sorry, sorry I didn't mean to scare you." Central Cee says sitting right next to me. "You alright?" He looks at me. I'm so confused on why he's even sitting next to me, I thought he was still streaming. "I came to get some fresh air, your brother just finished up." He says leaning forward and resting his elbows on his legs. "Right." I say taking another pull. "Can I have some?" He asks looking at the joint between my lips. I look at him confused. "Sure." I say passing it to him.

   "So how are you doing?" He takes a pull. "I'm fine." I say. "Really? Cause we all heard you screaming." He looks at me. "It's something I'm used to." I shrug. "But you shouldn't be." He furrows his eyebrows. "It is what it is." I say grabbing the joint. "So you're not allowed to talk to men but he can cheat? Sounds a bit hypocritical innit?" He chuckles. "Who died and made you the relationship expert?" I say sarcastically. "Look, I'm just saying you don't deserve that." He shrugs. "You don't know what I deserve." I ash my joint and take a pull from it. "I know a girl as pretty as you shouldn't be dealing with a guy like that." He looks at me. I continue to look at the moon.

    I stay silent for a little while. "You don't understand." I shake my head. "Oh I understand for sure." He says. "No, you don't." I squint at him and take a pull. "You want to stay with him because you feel as if you wouldn't be able to do it on your own, you want to stay with him because you are so used to being around him that you don't know how to be without him. You feel like he's your normal." He says. This fucker read me to filth.

    The wind begins to howl, I shiver. Oakley looks at me. "You cold?" He asks. "A little." I shiver. "Here." He takes his jacket off and puts it on me. I smile up at him. "Is that a smile? Don't fall for me now." He wiggle his eyebrows. I laugh. He looks at me confused "Please, you couldn't handle me even if you tried." I put the joint between my lips. "I get what I want." He grabs the joint from my mouth and walks off, giving me a wink before he turns around. "Asshole." I whisper to myself. 

    I take a deep breath and try to count the stars to distract me from everything going on around me. As the wind blows Oakleys scent coming from his jacket hits my nose. I suddenly feel an urge of calmness. I can hear someone calling my name from the distance. I turn around to see Maddie walking towards me. As she approached me she holds up her phone. "It's Jacob calling." She says annoyed. I hold out my hand and rub my temples with the other.

     She puts the phone in my hand and I hold it up to my ear. "Hello?" I sigh. "Jade, did you really block me?" He says offended. "No, Jacob my phone is inside." I roll my eyes. "Inside? Where are you?" His voice rises a bit. "I'm outside, just taking a breather." I say getting up. "Can you call me on your phone please?" He asks. "I'll call you once I'm inside." I sigh. "Okay I love you."he utters. "And I love you." I hang up the phone.

I hand the phone back to Maddie and she looks at me in despair. I give her a side smile. "You don't have to deal with this Jade." She says softly. "I love him Maddie." I shake my head. "But does he love you?" She says. I look down choosing not to answer the question because I don't even know the answer to the question. I bite my lip and head inside.

As I'm about to go in my room I see Oakley right outside of Cade's room, I make eye contact with him before I head into my room. I take a deep breath and let my body drop on the bed like a bag of potatoes. I grab my phone and dial Jacob's number. He picks up at the first ring. "Hey." He takes a deep breath. "Hey." I reply. "I'm... I'm sorry." He sounded really genuine and gently.

"Jacob we can't keep doing this." I sigh. "I know baby I know I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again." He sounds on the brink of crying. "I believe you." I mutter. "Thank you, thank you. I will be on the next plane there baby I promise." He says. "Okay." I cry. "Why are you crying?" He says. "I... I don't know." I sniffle. "Im packing my things now, I love you." He says in the distance. "I love you too." I say with tears streaming down my face. I hang up.

I let out a small cry. I don't deserve this at all. I know I should leave but I can't, I can't because I'm afraid that if I leave I'll be all alone. I hate this, I hate crying, I hate feeling worthless, and I hate being vulnerable to a man that doesn't even give a shit about me. I curl myself into a ball clenching onto my chest, just letting it all go. The scent from Oakley's jacket was the only thing keeping me from going crazy. I close my eyes and just fall asleep. I couldn't stand crying so I forced myself to sleep.