Will of the Fallen (Levi x OC)

Chapter 41: Burden of Cost

The feeling coursing through my veins was nothing short of a devastating poison scorching my veins and lungs, as my eyes landed on the scene we were rapidly approaching.

There were two more bodies than there were before, and one of them was none other than Floch. The other was blond and bloody, spelling out the only possibility of who it could be.

Neither of those realizations was the cause for such rage in my veins though. No.

It was the simple sight of Mikasa pinning Levi down with a fresh blade pressed against his jugular, trying to pry the serum from his hand. The threat upon his life stirred something primal inside my body and mind, forcing me to use the last of my gas to reach them.

Mikasa lunged threateningly towards Floch, and in a rough collision, I slammed into her spine, rolled over her head, and threw the full force of my leg into her stomach, sending her back towards Hanji. Last I checked the brown haired scientist was still behind me.

Immediately, I whirled around and glared at the girl who, just as expected, landed in Hanji's grasp. The reasonable side in me wanted nothing more than to comfort Mikasa, as she was losing something too, but we all were. That didn't give her the right to threaten anyone, or put a blade to their throats.

The air was sick with tension and furious silence which was making everything hard to digest. I slowly rose to my feet and glanced down at the trembling girl fighting back against Hanji's grip. They slid a few feet back, as Hanji won out the fight.

Levi sat up on his elbows, looking from me to the one-eyed wonder across from us. I ignored them all, trying to get a read on the full situation. Eren was dazed at the edge of the roof, with blood on his face. The only reason Mikasa ever lashes out, is if someone harms Eren or treats him poorly. So it was fair to assume Levi hit him, and in his weakened state Mikasa took charge.

The reason she swung at Floch was unknown to me. Maybe he said something he shouldn't have, and with his mouth it wouldn't surprise me one bit.

I took a deep breath, eyes refusing to meet with the bodies I assumed were the reason behind the whole argument in the first place, and then looked at the man below me whose eyes were wide with shock.

I sighed and finally mustered up the strength to look at the two barely living beings we were fighting over. This is precisely why I didn't take the responsibility.

A medic is supposed to triage well, prioritizing lives over others based on their wounds and the severity. I can't do that if feelings are involved, and maybe I should have been better at that. There was no excuse for my defective mentality. If I couldn't do a better job, then I didn't deserve to be a healer.

I was supposed to wall off my emotions on the job, and there I stood, feeling like a pile of bricks - burdened by self-loathing. The poison in my veins thrummed like war drums, pumping my mind full of barbed wire until it coiled in on me like a snake.

There wasn't a single part of me that was left unscathed as I stared at the two we were fighting over. Not. One. Part.

Just do better.

Then, a strange numbness washed over me as Mikasa let out a guttural scream, piercing the air with it's blood chilling volume and emotion as Levi pulled out the syringe. I forced myself to stand still as Hanji held the girl back. Was I even still angry with her?

If I had just caught those monsters that Levi sent me after, we wouldn't have to fight over Armin and Erwin like animals. Maybe we could have saved them both. I should have done better.

Weak.

Stupid.

Never good enough.