His Personified Chaos

chapter 7

~Trisha~

It's him.

After planning to date dump him, (though we are not dating) here I am. Standing opposite to the cafe, watching him check his phone, waiting for me.

I was supposed to go as per as Divya's plan. Supposed to leave him alone in the cafe and not appear. Supposed to ghost him, but i- I just couldn't.
I don't regret having him in my life. He was always so sweet and caring to me that even after he disappeared i couldn't hate him.

How could I?

He saw me at waved at me. Anxiety's making my gut turn knots. He's a bit more manly now I guess. I wave him too.

After crossing the road I enter the cafe and went to the table he was sitting on.

"Didn't expected you to come..." A wry smile on his face, makes my heart pinch. How did he know? The question isn't 'how' the question should be 'why'. Why does he knows? Why does he always used know what I needed?

"Ahh-"

"Leave it, I know you must be feeling awkward.....how have things been?" Again, he did it again.

"It's fine. I work as an event planner now. What about you?"

"Software Engineer. Also going to release my new game soon though it's just out of hobby." He laughed off.

"A game? I didn't knew you took an interest in those?"

"Not exactly. Just for hobbies. Well what do we order. Imma pay today and don't you dare cut off my words. What would you like a croissant?"

"Yeah....how's your parents?" I ask him.

"Divorced."

"Huh?"

"They divorced 4 years ago," my heart dropped at this news, manav's parents were so in love with each other. What happened that resulted into this? My curiosity leaks out but somehow I stop my self from asking the reason. "About that, I'm sorry. I didn't meant to ghost you...." Sincerity reflecting in his eyes.

The waiter comes in with our order, manav ordered an espresso with a choco chip cookie while I got an Americano along with a croissant, "i have always regretted, i needed time alone-i might sound selfish but seeing you happy with your mom and dad made me envy you so much, wherea-" his voice cracked a bit. "I just hope you can forgive me for that...."

"Manav. I was never angry at you. Yeah I was a bit sad. But I could actually never hate you. I'm so sorry what all happened with you. We have precious memories together, which I treasure. I wouldn't have come here if I would have been angry on you"

"Then can we make more memories?"

"Huh?"

"I mean are you seeing someone or do i have the chance to fix everything?" My eyes widen, he's insisting a new start, a relationship for 'us'.
I had loved manav back then.
Till this day I remember, when it was raining this hard and i forgot my umbrella home and someone offered me his, so I wouldn't catch cold. Manav. It was our first meeting.
Days passed, we became close, friendship bloomed into love and we never knew, never knew how time passed and faded it too.

After manav shifted to another city without telling me, i thought he found someone else, I was sad as every wounded first love person is, but it faded. Sometimes I did wonder what if fate ever gives me the chance to be with him again.

But now that I look into my heart, i find nothing, sadness sweeps over me and I couldn't utter a word. How do I tell him? I moved on. I don't love him anymore. Nor do I want to love him anymore.

Deep down, i desired a closure, what brought me here, even though I deny it.

"Did I creep you out?" He asks with concern.

"No, it's just-" i take a sip of my drink, its almost cold, how long I have been thinking all this?
"I'm not sure, if i- ah if I want to get into a relationship"

I look at my cold cup of Americano, head down waiting for him to say something. And for a minute no one says anything.

"Oh"-"I see."

"We can be friends though I don't want us to end on bad terms" i speak up hurriedly, scared to hurt him. He had already gone through so much.

"Ahh it's fine. I understand." Small smile still beaming on his face. "Plus being friends I can still try...." He laughs off, trying to joke. I have no answer to that.

"I guess I better get going."

"Yeah sure. Take care."

"All the best for your game release."

"Hm hmm, best wishes to you too."

~♡~

I feel bad after rejecting him, but don't regret it. Still not to overthink, I need a distraction.

Distraction means books.
Books means smuts.
I know i should get therapy for my unhealthy obsession for extreme books.
But let's be honest, if you had money, would you spend it on a random stranger to talk to you or buy books with it and use the remaining ones to eat food.

Ofcourse the second one, it's more tempting. Moreover what are Nandini, Shanaya and Divya for? To dump my daily rants on them.

Isi liye un logon ko abhi Tak paal rakha hai.

Thus here I am in a bookstore searching for smutty books, what shall I get?
The second book from the cat and the mouse duet?
Or do i get 'All he'll ever be'. Why don't they keep much books in spicy genre? All they have in most quantity is the kids storybooks or co-ho books. They don't keep masterpieces. Let's search some more in the other section.

While I search for spicy books, my eyes lands on a magazine from Time: the American one. Great they have money to afford American magazines in large quantity but don't have money to put books in spicy genre. Fuckers.

As I pick up the magazine, and i guessed it right; it's Devaditya. He's on the cover of the times along with other man standing right next to him.
Someone has the guts to stand next to the devil.

'Shaurya Chauhan' it says in black bold under his picture while devaditya has his name printed above his head.

The shourya guy seems more of a bit gentleman type. He was dressed in formal. Much better than devaditya. Why can't I work for someone like him? He seems kind unlike that jerky bastard.

I forwarded the mail for guest list and I still haven't gotten any response. God knows when will this event shut get over and this devaditya's era will end from my life.

Dev Aditya Singh Rathore
Naam bhi chaar chaar paal rakhe hai. Bhagwan jaane default name kya hai iska?

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Tabh Tak ke liye radhe radhe
       See you in the next part!
         ~Raanjhaan!♪