"C'mon Jungwon, tell us."
All eyes are set on the quivering teenage boy who clutches desperately at the loose fabric of his trousers.
He's forced out of his seat, standing up like the boy before him and just like that poor kid all the nerves he's been containing slowly come undone like a ball of yarn tumbling. He struggles to think more and less and breathe as his heart bursts a pink colour all over his face as he frantically tries to think of a way out.
"We're just here to help you," Li reassures and scoots over to him, "You being quiet isn't gonna do much," she chuckles and Jungwon cringes at her touch, slowly pulling his shoulder away from her grip.
His eyes travel across the group of boys he's faced with and suddenly everything he's been preparing fades away and becomes a foggy mess. He looks away for a second, but the words are out of his grasp as they slowly clog up his throat and now he's unable to speak.
"Anytime Jungwon," She whispers and Jungwon nods stiffly.
"I-I um..." he clears his throat in a weak attempt to hold back the tears and push out the words, "Well, I was just like any boy here was before – top grades, very religious and had never done a single bad thing in my life in fact if I heard about myself back then I would have ridiculed that kid myself but,"
"But I met a boy and had sinned with him and for that, I am very ashamed. My parents' name has been ruined and I want to ask for forgiveness and change because of them—"
"But I met a boy and had sinned with him and for that, I am very ashamed. My parent's name has been ruined and I want to ask for forgiveness and change because of them—"
Jungwon's voice grows stagnant, harsh, and loud. The panic and mixed frustration bubble over until he squeaks out his last words until Li sets her hand on his shoulder squeezing it and shaking her head, forcing him to stop. Everything stops. His shaky eyes slowly pan over to meet her gaze.
"Jungwon I'm asking you how you feel right now – your confession doesn't show in your attitude or the people you choose to engage with, please be honest." Her voice is stern and void of the fake pretence she once wore.
"Sorry miss, but I was told that we were supposed to do our confessions in private, we had even prepared for it with speeches and such and I'm very uncomfortable stating my... issues in front of everyone." He grits his teeth as he holds back the urge to yell at her.
"Kid, I'm not asking you to profess your sins, we're all just asking for you to be honest here." Li explains as she gestures towards the innocent group of boys, "Privacy with God is granted everywhere Jungwon – he's always watching so just be open."
"Who says I'm not being honest?" He asks sharply though it comes more as a statement.
"Then why aren't you telling us about the reason you're here at all – that boyfriend of yours, Jay?"
At that, Jungwon falls silent, but he desperately forces his body and mind to pull it together and shrugs it off though this time the urge to fight back grows strong as his muscles tense.
"I did miss. I think you need to understand that I've been saying everything I've wanted to." He clarifies thought he can't ever remember saying anything about Jay, he doesn't want to pretend anymore.
"Just be truthful, I promise you it will make everything feel so much better." She states for the nth time and by this point, Jungwon has had enough.
"Please stop," he states with a quivering voice, stepping back, "I'm telling you all I want to—"
YOU ARE READING
Paper cuts & Paper rings | JayWon
Fanfiction"Don't you like diamond rings and shiny things?" Park Jongseong, Jay, is a new transfer student in a private prep school in Seoul. New to the posh scenery and wealthy students, he tries to conceal his background and flaws by putting on a show. When...
