Paper cuts & Paper rings | JayWon

31. Cry and cry again

Rugby practice. Jay wishes he could ignore them - chess club was already enough slurs and dirty looks than he could handle. He's used to it of course, but goddamit why does he participate in so many school activities?

He had expected it to happen though all his preparation came in vain when he was kicked out of the locker room just in case he would infect them by touching them. It made Jay sick.

He shakes the snarky comments off though. There is no one to protect him; he lives in a society which agrees with the majority and that majority chose to outlaw homosexuality as if it was a thing he had control of. Who would want to be gay when that meant you were a social outcast?

Tackles and punches were caught at his side though he powers through it, his anger slowly bubbling to the surface. Still, he contains it. Jungwon was once like them too - he thinks to himself and how he would never dare to hurt him. They're just confused.

It's aggravating the fact that they push him to the side as if he doesn't exist. At some point, he feels as though he should just walk off but then that would be giving into the people who hurt him - who made Jungwon's life a living hell.

So when he gets an opportunity to take the ball, he runs head first towards his opponent. Finally the ball is his, but the boy lays limp on the ground, a pool of blood seeping out of his nose as he struggles to get up.

"I'm afraid that's a foul, Jay," Jiung, Kiyun's best friend who takes every chance to torment him during practice, whispers roughly in his ear as he pats and rubs his shoulder harshly.

"Faggots like you-"

"Thanks," Jay grumbles under his breath and brushes his shoulder against Jiung, causing him to stumble at his swift actions. "Also, aren't you a bit close to me-aren't you afraid of catching my 'disease'?" He snaps in his face and suddenly Jiung's snarky smirk is replaced with a shifty frown.

"Fuck off," Jiung quickly pushes him away but Jay raises his hands and walks away before he can do anything further. He smiles coyly to himself but his heart burns with pent up anger and frustration, but no one will listen to him - there is no one who cares, who can help.

For the rest of the game, Jay sits patiently on the benches, looking off to the side as he tries to entertain himself or more like ignore them. He wishes he could disappear, feeling awkward and stiff but when he does finally look back he notices how their team is struggling - he was no doubt the best fly half but no one wanted to say anything because he wasn't normal.

And if you weren't normal then you were broken, useless, a problem for everyone to have to take care of fix, and clean. Everyone thought that being gay meant you had to be feminine and weak - a pervert and paedophile when in reality being gay really meant nothing in a situation like sport.

"Jay," His couch calls out his name and he quickly bounces back onto his feet, but only then does he notice that the game has ended, fists curling into themselves tightly.

"Yes, sir?" He croaks.

Heaving a big sigh, he folds his arms over his chest. "I want you to clean up this pitch then meet back with the rest of us, alright." He states with his gruff voice. Jay nods slowly when he realises the coach is examining him closely with an unreadable expression, "I think you know why young man so be swift otherwise I won't be so easy on you,"

"Yes, sir."

By the time Jay has finished up, he barely has enough energy to peel off his shirt and change back into his uniform but nonetheless he musters up enough willpower to reach the changing room but suddenly he's not so sure if he wants to go in there or not.