Fucked up world

Chapter 5 : Primul

The little girl was sobbing, her eyes filled with tears.
Her arms were hugging herself tightly. Leaning back and forth frantically.
She was clutching the edges of her little white dress, now covered in mud, soaked by the light rain that had been falling for hours. The water reflecting her features, like a distorted mirror.
There was a boy next to her.
His small form lying on the cold asphalt of the street, his eyes closed.
He wasn't moving. His eyes weren't flickering under his eyelids.
"Please... please wake up..." her voice was broken.
The little girl slowly advanced on all fours towards the red headed boy, her hands trembling.
She grabbed the boy by the shoulders and began shake him.
"Please, Kiri!... i'm so sorry, open your eyes now..."
But he wasn't. The girl lost counsciousness of time, she just stood there, beside him, waiting for him to open his eyes.

It was the first time she was close to death.
She didn't know.
How could she?

She stayed there for hours, maybe days... waiting for her friend to wake up.
Her tears never dried.

Until someone lift her. She felt a warm embrace.
"Mom... no... we can't leave him..."

*********

The floor was cold, i could feel it on my skin.
It meant i was still alive.
Don't know if it's a good thing though... My mind was empty, blank.

I raised myself, taking balance on the table next to me. The flat only lit by the weak street lights filtering through the bay window.

In the action my body seems to wake up and with that ; a deep inner pain. Like a burning cold inside of my blood
I stood up, staggering.
I made a few steps in the dark before stumbling on something.
Or someone...?

That's when all the events of a few hours earlier, covered my mind.
I stared at the corpse.

Why?

Why did i fight?

Why am i still here?

Why does it always end up like that?

I quivered of rage and sadness.

I took in all his features. He looked so...peacefull.
He didn't looked like an evil villain or a killer.
Just a boy.
I needed to remember to him. It was my duty
A Silent tear fell on my cheeks.
"I'm sorry..."

Kill someone was an irreversible act. An act that destroys.
I could justify myself by saying he was a villain. He deserved it. He killed many poeple. He tried to kill me...
But i couldn't. For an unknown reason, i couldn't.

Plus it would be lying to myself, he wasn't the first after all...

I kneeled next to him. Watching him. He looked around the same age as me, maybe more, it was hard to tell.
His skin was so pale. His burns standing out so strongly. The edges of the violet patches were demarcated by piercings whose metal reflected the fine, pale lunar light.
I looked for a moment at the wound i had healed a few hours ago.
How ironic...

I dried my tears. I dried my heart.
Stop being so selfish... you have no right to lament.

I removed the locks from his black hair hiding his face.
That's when i heard it:
A dull, muffled sound. Coming from deep in the throat.

I rushed to take his pulse in his neck.
Nothing.
My heart sank.
Hey why? Did I have hope for a brief moment?
Yet I swore to myself not to hope anymore...
I know my past... i know my future.
And it allows no hope.
I'm only still alive because...Wait...