My boy ruby

Keep it G

I gasped, searching for the air that wasn't there. My panicked hands searched desperately across my bedside table: on the top, in the drawer, on the floor. I casted my eyes to my vanity pessimistically trying to spot it. I grabbed a phone, unsure whether it was mine or Aristos i put the flash on and looked again in the drawer.It was there, i frantically picked it up and placed it between my lips, pushed down on the top and took three large breaths in.

Aristos hand flung at me, "watcha doing girl?," he groaned trying to take the phone from my hands.

"Nothing I'm fine" i tipped out Xanax and chucked them down my throat.

"You don't seem fine." I watched him as he turned his body to mine wrapping his arms around my waist cuddling me like a giant teddy bear.

"I have asthma, sorry" i lied

"Okay" he yawned and nuzzled his nose into my side and fell softly back to sleep.

My dream had shook me to the core. I was unable to sleep, i sat up staring at the wall as i once did at Ruby's house. My thoughts consumed me: what if i never tried to? What if it worked the first time? Why didn't it work the first time? When my thoughts became to strong my mind would go blank, unable to peace my brain back together.

Aristos arm was dragged up and hit me on the face, i laughed to myself. When i looked down at him, his lips were moving as of to say something but nothing came out except a sweet, inocente murmur. As much joy it brought me to be reminded of Aristos, I couldn't neglect the festering questions which will forever go unanswered. They were there and wouldn't leave until i slept or talked to someone but since both of those weren't going to happen i was stranded.

- - -

The morning swung around. i woke up looking up to the ceiling, i had forced myself to close my eyes and sleep, however no sleep came i was simply sat there. Having hardly slept meant  the awakening of Ruby brought me  an abundance of relief. I finally had someone to talk to.

"Morning Aristos"

"Morning Emma" he hugged me tightly for some time before realising me. "How'd you sleep?"

"Fine," my respond was hesitant "what about you love?"

"Really good, your bed's real comfy" he pushed his hands against the mattress

"Thank you." I sat playing with his hair as we sat in comfortable silence.

After a short while i finally spoke,"Hey Ruby," he looked up at me, i paused quickly thinking of another question i could ask,"can i call you Ari for short?"

He smiled up at me "of course shawty."

"Okay" i spoke contently along with a bright smile.

It had been 5 minutes and no one had said a word. Ruby seemed rather content with this, however i was simply sat there debating whether or not to tell him about my dream.

"You know I had the weirdest dream," i chuckled but with pain in my eyes. Ruby pulled himself up next to me, he could sense something wasn't right. " i was at the psych ward where i spent like a lot of my teen years and a guy in there who i lived with called Jim was chasing me, but its weird cus he was never creepy with me, and you were there to, and my ex, and the guy from the gig, and then a monster that was really scary. How weird is that?" Ruby's face was blank, he looked as if he had been traumatised.

"Yeah that is weird" he spoke slowly and paused slightly often. "Erm what was i doing?" He said to distract me from the sadness I felt.

" well, you were you but then you changed into Jim. I don't know, my brains kinda fucked so."