My boy ruby

Harvest moon

For the next 4 days, life was normal. I just went to work, slept and fell further into my depression. It was very normal for me to have depressive 'episodes', i mean i was depressed 24/7 however every couple of weeks for a few days it would get to the point were i could only just get out of bed and id cry on my walk to work. I had been like thing since i was 13 but I've always been a sad and anxious person. I don't know if its because of my dad dying or that he had something that passed down to me, which is what my mom thought as she knew that he was depressed however she didn't think it could ever come to that. I wasn't the type of person to talk about my problems i was more the type to bottle them up until they come out in anger, crying or self harm.

Harvey could tell i had turned for the worse. He tried to help by getting my up for work which did help but I didn't want to be reliant on him. I was good at faking my happiness however Harvey and Stacey always saw through it so they would take me to party's and go shopping with me or even just come round to mine and sit with me.

"Listen imma go to the studio today with everyone 'nd i think you should come" Harvey said leaning up against the door frame of my room, looking at me as i sat in bed buried under my cover.

"Yeah, OK... what time?" I said not making any effort to add volume to my voice or sound excited.

He huffed smacking his lips together exhaling through them " like... 3"

"Okay I'll be ready for 3"

I had 1:30 to get ready which was plenty of time so i sat on my phone until 2:15. I had a body shower so I didn't stink through on some baggy black joggers and a slim fit short sleeved grey top which showed some cleavage due to the top 3 buttons that i left undone . I had concealer, blush contour and eyeliner on with mascara, my hair was in french braids but my 'face frame' bangs/layers were hanging out since they'd fall out anyway.

- - -

At 3 we got into Harvey's car and drove for about 20 minutes before we got to some street. We got out and walked down the street. He stopped at what looked like a normal house. He signalled me to go in by reaching out his hand which pointed down a stair case. i went down them, there was just a door that was a-jar it had smoke living it along with the smell of weed, this confirmed that the guys were in there so i slowly walked in peeking my head through the door slightly.

It wasn't long till pouya jumped up excitedly from his chair and ran over to me to hug me, i awkwardly reciprocated the gesture then went to sit down. Ruby and Germ were on the couch, pouya and Eric on a chair facing them, scrim was sat in a chair facing the studio in front of him were all the controls and buttons. Harvey sat down before i did, pulling up a chair from the corner, i looked to see were i should sit, in the corner of my eye i saw ruby tap the space between him and germ i walked over and sat down.

"Hey Emma" Ruby said offering me the spilf he had just pulled out of his mouth.

" Hey love" i replied softly taking the joint from his fingers and putting it in between my lips. We locked our eyes on each other not breaking till Scot asked him a question about the new beat they'd be working on, he got up and stood by him to talk some lyric ideas out.

Pouya and germ started joking about with each other, listening in on the insults they were throwing at each other in began to chuckle to myself however kev (pouya) soon dragged me into the conversation begging I gave them my opinion on what they were arguing at.

"Emma I'm right aren't i ? No hoe gonna want germ if his name is GERM" shocked at the question i had been asked I hesitated before answering.

" i don't know I think germs kinda cute and his name sorta adds to it" i turned my head to face him then winked which he smiled at. I could only notice in the corner of my eye ruby look at me when i called germ cute, an expression I'd never seen on his face grew. It looked as if he was jealous however wanted to hide it so kept a straight face.