Love Wins All

Chapter 3

So-Yun was not the type of persone who thinks negative all the time and sometimes she had these intense waves of positivity which made herself surprise.

There were times where she thought she deserved all the love of this world and other times where she believed she didn't deserve it at all. She made herself think that she hates people nevertheless she was always trying to find somebody who could be her friend or... something more. She didn't want a relationship with anybody, she just wanted to be loved. Hearing "You're important to me", "You're beautiful", "You're smart". Words everybody were used to hear but not for her. It was a lucky day listen to her mother saying: "You did a good job".

Her mother did not always like So-Yun's drawings but some of them touched her. One time So-Yun painted a painting with oil colors which represented a pile of clothes in a mountain shape and above itself, a white dress falling down the air, illuminated  by glimmers of light filtered through the broken glasses of a decaying building. Her mother asked the meaning of it and So-Yun said: " The past, the present and the future".

Actually So-Yun didn't want to say the real meaning of her painting, she wouldn't understand it and if she would, she would say "You have some kind of paranoia. Get over it". Her mom was not mean or a bad persone, she was more a traditionalist even though her life hadn't been traditional at all. 

She was born in a family where studying was the most important thing, Studying means get a nice job and having a nice job leads to success. She was one of the best student in her high school with the one who it would become her husband in the future, in order to gain a scholarship for Seoul University. Her parents made her a ballerina at a very young age and without surprise she became excellent even in that discipline.

The target for her mother was to finish her studies and then finding a job in one the most famous companies that represented the economic pillars of the country.

When she met So-Yun's father, her plans changed. She moved to America, she found a job as a Data Analyst in a bank and then she got pregnant.

So-Yun was like her mother; she had excellent grades in school in fact she became one the best students of the institute. During elementary and middle school she was not that great and she was very close to repeat the last year. From that moment she knew she didn't want to be a burden and a disappointment to her parents. She started studying five hours a day, everyday, day, she was like a train without breaks. Good grades came and that made her feel so proud of herself. She never felt that way. Being one of the students had increased her ego almost disproportionately. She knew she was smart and she wanted to show it to people. She didn't like to attract too much attention but when she was doing something academically correct and it was recognize, she loved having all eyes on her. She felt seen and her mom was proud about her results.

When So-Yun told her school successes to her father, he was proud. She could see it through her pc screen during FaceTime calls. A pleased smile... it was in that So-Yun felt seen, she had his father's recognition and his attention. It was enough.

June 29th, 2026

So-Yun packed all her luggages and she was ready to fly to Seoul but leaving her mom for two months could be dangerous. The feeling in her stomach that she was doing something wrong was taking all over the place. Every inch close to the airport made her feel sick.

She wanted to see her father but not his new family, she didn't feel welcome in that house.

Her sister e her stepmother were happy to see her during the summer breaks but for some reason So-Yun didn't feel the same. Her father was always the same. The only thing that changed was his location, on the other side of the planet. 

They made video-calls one a month and it was enough for So-Yun. She could tell him everything that was necessary in 1.30h.

The trip to the J.F.K was about 40 minutes by car except traffic. Her mother wanted to go with her till the airport and in those moments So-yun felt always happy because she could feel the love from her mom.

"Did you take everything? Are you sure?"

"Yes, i take everything that i need."

"Passport? Phone charger? Everyt...?"

"Yes, mom. I've got EVERYTHING." Said So-Yun laughing.

"When you'll arrive remember to say hi to your father by me."

"Yes, I will."

So-Yun perceived that... after all, her mom still loved her dad. A love strong like the one a mother feels for her children.

They got divorced but sometimes she surprised her mother in the kitchen watching old pictures, and she was laughing.

So-Yun didn't know anything about love in romantic terms, she never had a romantic relationship but sometimes she could imagine how it could be... feeling something for someone.

The J.F.K was the definition of anxiety for her because of it dimensions and also because she had the fear od losing herself in the building, going to the wrong gate o missing the flight. Her heartbeat increased anytime she was having a panic attack or anxiety and one of the signal was knocking her knuckles, one by one.

There was just one thing that she liked about flying... the sky.

She brought her luggages from the back of the car. She stopped in front of her mother. she hugged her. "Be careful, ok?."

Her mother hugged her back. It was one of those rare hugs that happened only a few times in So_yun's life. A type of hug that you give to someone when you know that somebody's worth is much more than normal or when you feel you're not going to see this person for a long time.

"It's fine." she said. " I'm always careful, you know that."

Both of them were staring at each other without saying anything. It was like they were telling to each other "I love you"  but they were never saying that.

"So, bye."

"Bye."

So-Yun took her luggages and she went straight to the check-in but first... she looked back to her mother one last time before leaving.