Invisible string (lestappen)

Chapter 33 : Charles

The last race of the season is already five days away. Abu Dhabi. I can't believe how quickly time passed. It feels like Bahrain was only a few weeks ago.

This season has definitely been challenging in many aspects. Some ups, and many downs but here I am. Still with the same desire to win with the red team. Because I do believe that we can achieve it together. Winning a championship. Not now, but hopefully next year will be a massive improvement for the team. Better car, better strategy.

Better everything.

I want to be able to fight against Max. Even though I'm the happiest to see him at the top of his career, the selfish part of me wants to share the track with him again. Like the old days.

I often find myself thinking about them, even missing them sometimes. How we used to give each other no mercy.

Some things really never change.

The hating part did though, but not entirely. I still want to drive him insane, except now I use other strategies to do so. Those involving a lot of touching and kissing.

We both decided to fly to Abu Dhabi early in the week to enjoy the country before the start of the race weekend. It feels nice to just spend time together, away from everything. Our schedules are pretty busy but we still manage to make it work. Whether it's after meetings, training sessions, or in between two free practices, we always find a way to see each other.

Today, we're planning on going on a run together, on a beach a bit outside of town.

After the small argument we had the other day, I was afraid it'd put a cold between us. I know he accepted my apologies but it still made me feel awful. The fact that I made him doubt me hurts.

I should've told him the truth but deep down I know why I didn't. I felt vulnerable. Talking to her about her mother made me momentarily go back to the place I was when I lost my father. It was hard. All the pain and sadness I went through resurfacing. It never really disappeared, I just learned how to tame it enough to make it bearable to live with.

How could I just her go through that without being there for her ? She still is someone I care about. And I can sadly imagine how she must be feeling right now. Helpless, alone, sad. Mad at the whole world.

I don't love her anymore, how could I when my absolutely every thought is reserved to Max ? I wish he could see inside my heart to know how much I love him. Because I do. So much it hurts.

I always did.

Since the first day I landed my eyes on his gorgeous blue gaze. Since the first battle on track. Since the first time we argued.

Since I met him.

•••

'Should we stop to eat ?', Max asks while catching his breath.

'Yeah, I'm hungry'

I sit on the sand while he throws his body on it with a sigh.

'I'm so fucking tired'

I laugh at the view. He does look a bit red and sweatier than usual but still unbelievably beautiful.

'Only two miles left and we're good'

He grumbles and sits next to me.

'Well, hopefully food will help'

I hand him the bag of sushi I bought before coming, too lazy to cook anything. It also will taste ten times better than whatever I would've done anyway.