THIRTEEN.

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No

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No.

This can't be possible.

Y/n's heart sinks impossibly further as he hears the message reverberate around in his brain: it serves as a cruel reminder of his defeat, and Y/n really isn't happy about that. Matter of fact, he's stressed; he's beyond stressed. This is a matter of life and death for him.

"I thought I could do this," Y/n says, and he doesn't even know if he's saying these words aloud — "I thought I could change this."

The noise around him starts to hurt his ears; who the fuck cares about the injuries on his body? Who cares he is a mottled mess? Who cares if he nearly dies?—what is important isn't him. It is the fucking game; and it concerns so many other people and he's just — dispensable, perhaps. He —

Arion leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Y/n's temple; and that very movement sends tingles of reassurance down his back.

"Are they too noisy?"

Y/n swallows the lump in his throat, mustering a weak smile. He can't have Arion acting up now, either; but he's a mess. Y/n knows that he's a mess; it's as if his emotions have been cruelly smashed, with their threads cut. Shadows slink over his mind, and their elongated forms twist; contort; they are like specters of doubt, taunting him. They taunt him with their elusive promises, and yet none of them come to fruition.

The pain that courses through his battered body intensifies — bitterness consumes him. Failure tastes sour on his tongue; and soon the noise around Y/n grows unbearable, and the patchwork of voices and actions blur into a disorienting smudge. Their chatter seeps into every crevice of Y/n's mind; and he just wants it all to stop.

"I..I—just want some rest," Y/n's voice cracks, "just make them stop...I just.want some rest."

He is exhausted.

All this, for what?

(He should have just abandoned Angelina.)

Y/n freezes.

No. Does he dare to have such a selfish thought? But it isn't fair. For him. In fact; anger fills him—how does Angelina meet Elliot even after he specifically tells her to run?

Yes, he feels a surge of resentment towards Angelina for her actions; but is it...misdirected? It should be...

[Iris.] Y/n manages a small thought—[What the fuck are you doing?]

Her voice immediately fills his head. [I should be asking you that! Three times in a row. Are you even trying?]

Y/n bristles; and as he flinches, Arion's eyes darken and focus on Elliot. The Prince seems to think Elliot's presence is the one causing him to act in such a way—which is true, in its own way.

[Not trying, you say?] If Y/n could yell—could scream his voice hoarse—he would.

Y/n's frustration bubbles to the surface. [I sacrificed my own well-being, risked my life, and fought against overwhelming odds. How dare you say I didn't try?]

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