Meademas Girl

Anxiety

Y/n POV
The blaring of my alarm sounded throughout my room I turn it off and lay back in bed thinking about the day ahead... it's trials day. Normally I'm ok about these kind of things but today I felt sick to the stomach, a feeling I wasn't quite use too. I just really hoped that today went ok all I want to do is make my mums proud especially since I made my decision to pursue a hobby that isn't football. I hadn't quite realized how long I'd been day dreaming for until my door creaking snapped me out of it. "Morning bug how you feeling about today?" It was my mumma, I watched as she made her way over to my bed and knelt down in front of the side I was facing so we were face to face. "I'm not quite sure I have an immense feeling of sickness in the pit of my stomach," I said honestly knowing that if anyone could help me identify my feelings It would be her. Her response was a sweet smile and a stroke of my cheek tucking my wild baby hairs behind my ears, "it's just nerves sweetheart, trust me a shower and some breakfast will do you the world of good" I nodded my head knowing that she was probably right, before gently clambering out of my bed and heading to the bathroom, "where's mum?" I asked aware that she hadn't joined in on the good morning which was a rare occasion. "She still in bed the lazy bones, we both asked Jonas for the day off to come and support you" I couldn't help it a smile crept on my face I know their my mums but the fact they took time out of their job which wasn't a normal 9-5 job with x amount of holidays meant the world.

Time skip

We were now pulling into the car park of the hockey grounds once again that sicky feeling crawling it's way back into my stomach, suddenly more nerves hit me and I couldn't handle them. I could feel the anxiety creep up from throat I started picking at the skin around my nails trying to distract myself from the feeling. Silent tears rolling down my cheeks as I tried quickly to wipe them away not wanting my mums to see. I mean think about it I'm sat here crying over a simple U14  trials. They're the athletes that put themselves on the line for their club and country in-front of thousands of people and seem to handle it fine so why couldn't I handle this. However hard I tried to stop them the tears kept coming and my breathing was becoming quicker, I had no idea what was happening or why which was causing me to panic further. "Right we are here you ok y/n you've been quiet" mum asked me I tried to answer but no words could come out, due to my lack of response both my mums peered into the back, probably to double make sure they hasn't forgotten me. Let's just say I wouldn't have been the first time.

Viv pov
Concern arised in both myself and Beth after the lack of response from our daughter, we both knew she was nervous about today and had wound herself up about it this morning. Upon looking in the back we both realized just how nervous she was she had gotten herself into such a state of panic that she couldn't get out of it by herself, she looked at us with pleading eyes, the look the screamed help. Beth immediately climbed over the middle console of the car and clambered into the back next to y/n she was the best one in these situations having helped me with so many of mine. I watched the scene unfold as y/n cuddled close and Beth just whispered sweet loving things in her ear whilst rubbing her hand up and down her back and with the other stopping y/n from picking at the skin around her fingers. That was normally the tale tale sign of her anxiety creeping up and once noticed by either myself or Beth was something we could shut down quite easily however it wasn't always so easy to spot. After a couple of minutes in a comforting silence y/n made the decision to get out and go and explore the new facilities and meet the coaches.

General pov
Trials had started Beth and Viv where in the stands above the pitch having a clear view of the playing field. The trials consisted of some passing drills and then straight into a full blown game. Y/n starting in her usual area on the right wing, the two sides were very evenly matched this was going to be a battle and a half. Half time came 0-0 both sides playing well y/n's side on the upper hand having some chances with y/n injecting some good balls in to the D but nobody managing to get a good enough finish on it to slide it pass the goal keeper. After a team talk and a drink both sides made their way back into positions, y/n taking her position this time closest to the benches waving at her mums before the whistle went. About 8 minutes into half time BANG goal scored apart from it was the wrong end the opposition had scored we will give them some credit it was a spectacular goal but nether the less they where now one nil down. Around 12 minutes later y/n decided to take matters into her own hands after a block from down in their defensive third she dribbled it up the right wing taking with no one on her side to support her apart from the upfront up in the attacking third she attempting something not many would have done in that moment. She did what I would like to call a Keira Walsh euro final pass, flicking it up so it could land on the attackers stick and just needed two simple taps before it hit the back of the goal.

The whistle blew for full time although not the result either teams wanted nether the less it wasn't a loss so it was something that each player could be happy to take away. After a quick debrief from the coaches and gathering some information about squad selection y/n made her way over the her mums who were stood proudly by the gate awaiting her arrival. As walking towards them Viv opened up her arms encouraging the girl to jump into them the three of them stood there in a big bear hug for what seemed like forever. "We are so so proud of you bug you where amazing" Beth reminded their daughter, the small little scene caused some attention turned meaning whispers came with it when recognizing the two older women of the trio but nobody dare to go up and interrupt the looks of a loving moment.
Whilst walking back to the car the meadema's were in full conversation about the trials, "so when did they say they'd be in touch?" Viv asked y/n eager to find out, "they said some point in the next couple of days" y/n replied slightly anxious.

As the family made their way home Beth announced to the pair, "it's England call up day tomorrow for the international friendly's squad."  Viv reached her hand over to Beth's thigh giving it a squeeze of reassurance, "you'll be fine my love you totally deserve it and have been on flying form recently". "Thanks Vivi when's yours?" Beth asked wanting to take the topic off of her potential call up, "3 days time" she replied apprehensively, Beth too giving her a similar response to what she got. "You ok in the back there bug you've gone very quiet?" Beth asked her daughter who had suddenly changed from her hyper chatty self to a quiet subdued little girl. "What's going to happen to me if you both get your call ups?" She asked back slightly mumbling as she spoke. Beth and Viv shared a glance between the two knowing the topic of them going on international duty was a sensitive one for y/n, their daughter was very reliant on both of them being present and seemed to crumble without them even if for a short while. Y/n loved routine something that they had created the three of them it suited y/n however when going to stay with someone else she didn't get her routine which was something she struggled to understand. Or the signs of her anxiety was something only her mums knew and her panic attacks were something only ever stopped in either of her mums presence, and when nobody was around that knew her to the level of her parents it's been known for her to spiral ever so slightly.

Viv was the one who spoke up as 9 times out of 10 she spoke the wiser words of the two, "well it will be the same as usual bug but instead of staying with grandpa Rich, auntie Olivia and uncle Ben are going to come and stay at ours and look after you is that ok?" Viv explained in her usual calmness. "I suppose " the almost teenager replied with knowing that this was going to happen wether she liked it or not. Let's just hope that if beth and Viv get their call ups that everything will be ok. Will y/n cope that's the question?

A/N
Here we go after a couple of boring chapters we are starting to get into it.
I'm sorry about the hockey boredom but eventually you will see why it will all tie in.
Hope you've had a good Monday