Wild and Out of Control

chapter twenty-two

"The most worrisome sight for any instructor is most definitely when powers backfire. We lost nine cadets my first year to signets that could not be controlled from their first manifestation. Pity."

- MAJOR AFFRENDA'S GUIDE TO THE RIDERS QUADRANT (UNAUTHORIZED EDITION)

------------------------------

|danica|

My pale knuckles turn bloody as I continue the onslaught of punches to the wooden post, not stopping even if the stinging in my hands turns numb.

     What the hell was I thinking last night? Kissing Riorson? Letting him touch me? Those are the kinds of things I shouldn't be doing. I need to get back on track and stop letting Riorson throw me off my groove. I shouldn't even have been out there in the first place. I blame Azare.

     "I heard that," he grumbles in my head. Of course, you did, you nosy dragon. "But I agree. You can't let the Wingleader distract you from completing your training...or occupy you if you know what I mean."

     "Ew, what the hell Azare?" So gross. "Since when have you had a dirty mind?" Now that got me thinking about what he does with Sgaeyl and I shudder as I envision it.

     "Get those thoughts out of your head, Fiery One. That is an image only for me, thank you very much." The sass of this dragon I swear to Amari.

     "Didn't peg you as a possessive mate," I tease. "But on a serious note, I'm kicking you out of my head now so I can focus."

     "Focus on hurting yourself over a boy?"

     "Goodbye." I raise the shields that my father's trainer taught me to do all those years ago. He always said that to protect one's body, you must protect one's mind first.

     Was I pushing myself a little too hard? Maybe. Should I instead focus my energy on trying to muster my signet? Probably. Am I going to do it? Nah.

     This is what I'm good at—exerting myself in physical exercise. None of the mind training stuff, though I need to master that as well. But alas, here we are, in the gym alone at five in the morning. I promised myself I'd stop two hours ago, but that turned into three hours, then turned into four. It's too late to go to bed now since I'll have to get up in thirty minutes anyway. But I couldn't sleep anyway, like many of the other nights I tried to. And this thrumming feeling under my skin that feels like a jackhammer trying to break through isn't helping.

     Punch. "Mama, where are you?"

     Jab. "Mama, don't go!"

     Hit. "Antony don't do this!"

     Swing. "Father no! He's my brother!"

     Strike. "Don't go, Antony!"

     I was so caught up in memories from my past I didn't realize anyone else was in the gym until I felt a hand on my shoulder. Tensing, I swing my elbow back, swing around, and grab their wrist before I twist it behind their back. I didn't realize who it was until I saw a mop of blond atop the intruder's head. "Liam," I say carefully, releasing him and stepping back. "What the hell are you doing sneaking up on me like that?"

     "What the hell are you doing?" He grabs my wrists in his hands and inspects my knuckles, his fingers slightly grazing over the broken skin. It's so numb I barely feel it. "What is this?"

     "My knuckles," I deadpan, trying to pull away but he tightens his grip. "I'm fine. And what are you doing up so early? Shouldn't you get good sleep to keep your beauty up?"