Wild and Out of Control

|chapter fourteen|

"Never, and I mean never, listen to those dangerous feelings, Dani, even when they are overwhelming. Don't give in until you absolutely need to; if you do, pick someone who doesn't know your name."

- PAGE 80, THE BOOK OF ANTONY

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|danica|

It's a quiet day in the forest as I take my time to sketch the newly sprouted wildflowers, Willow's little head lying in my lap.

     The sounds of the rushing river and the winds singing through the trees. The feel of the soft grass beneath my hands. The aroma of the many flowers around the riverside. The soft, little dear in my lap. Nothing could get better than this.

    "This is as good as it gets, Little One. This is the only peace we'll get in a while, Willow. I have a feeling things will get a lot more chaotic now that I've bonded the biggest and the most powerful dragon on the Continent."

    And the fact that I'm now eternally linked to Xaden Riorson.

    But I know I can handle anything that is thrown my way, or who's thrown my way. Though, I wouldn't mind if a certain six-foot-five, dark-haired, and dark-eyed rider would throw himself on me. No, what the fuck? Where did that come from?

     "Ugh, I need to get laid," I mutter to myself, startling the little Willow in my lap. She raises her head to look up at me with those doe eyes of hers. "Sorry, Willow. I just...I just have some pent-up feeling that I need...expel." She smiles up at me like she knows what I'm talking about. "There's a gathering of the Riders Quadrants, some sort of party to celebrate Threshing? I have no idea, I wasn't really listening. Maybe I'll find someone there."

     She continues smiling, opening her mouth to lick my hands. I pick my sketchbook from its place deposited by my side and pull the charcoal from its place tucked behind my ear. I could take someone to bed tonight to help satiate this feeling that is growing in me. I haven't had a good lay since I left for the Quadrant. That's it. That's what's wrong with me and why I'm thinking of Riorson like this. I just need a man in bed to get rid of these thoughts and feelings.

     I sigh as I hear a snap of a twig behind me. Seriously, again? Man, does he not give up. "What are you doing here, Liam? I thought we agreed not to be friends."

     "You did," he says as he takes his usual spot across from me. "I never agreed to that. Look, we got along well leading up to the Parapet and afterward. What happened? Why can't we be friends?" 

     My heart breaks a little at the pain in his voice, but my head is singing warning bells at caving into my desire to become his friend. "Liam...I don't think that's a good idea. I know that I have to train with Imogen and Garrick—even if I don't need them to train me—but that's because they're being ordered to and I can't get out of it."

     "But—"

     "It's not a good idea, Liam." I rub Willow's head, soothing her and myself. He seems like a good person and would be a great friend, but I can't willingly put myself or him in that position. "I commend you for trying multiple times, but this needs to stop. Now. You and I both know that Riorson would not like it if you became friends with me." 

     "I know, but—"

     I raise my hand. "Stop. Just stop. This is not going to happen Liam. You're not in my Squad, so we're not going to see each other often anyway."

     There is still fight left in those blue eyes of his, but he must see the determination in mine because he sighs, his shoulders dropping. He moves to stand, and it's the pain in his eyes that gets me. I can easily agree to be his friend because he's that easy to get along with, but I...but I am not. Violet can attest to that. When we first met because of our parents I'm pretty sure she hated me. I always ignored her or gave short and curt answers, always giving her sarcastic comments instead of the truth, and never listening to her spiel about her feelings. You know, I don't know why she became friends with me.