Wild and Out of Control

|chapter thirty-four|

|danica|

My breath catches in my throat as Xaden devours me, body and soul. There is no thought in my mind except for the bloody anomaly beneath me.

     My mouth opens with a gasp, and Xaden uses that to his advantage and slides his tongue in. Our tongues dance in a battle for dominance, and I easily lose. His kisses are never just a kiss. It's a whole-body experience. Tingles shoot up my spine as his hands grip my nape and pull me against him until I feel the hardness of his body. I shift my legs to get in a more comfortable position and I groan as I feel him hard beneath me.

     He groans as I move my body up and down, rubbing myself against his erection. He pulls away, and I mourn the loss before his hand wraps around my neck and squeezes just hard enough to elicit a shudder from me. "If you keep doing that I'll fuck you right here right now."

     His warning flows through me like an aphrodisiac, making my skin flush and my nipples harden into painful peaks. "Maybe that's what I..." I trail off as I remember what we were discussing before he interrupted it with a punishing kiss. I can't believe I let him do that. How can I let him change the subject that he refuses to answer? It's like a cold bucket of water was thrown on me, turning me off as quickly as I was turned on.

     Picking up on my change of mood, he stiffens as the fog of lust clears enough to focus on me. "Maybe that's what you what?" He stares into my eyes, looking for any clue of what I may be thinking. I place my foot in the forest to ensure my shields are up. "Danger. Talk to me. What is it that you want?"

     "You know what I want," I say finally, finding my voice as I try to calm myself. I need to get off him. Being this close to him is messing with my head. "I-I want to end this. End us." His hold on my throat tightens as a muscle in his jaw tightens. I scoff. "Don't tell me you're the clingy type after sex?"

     A minute passes before he makes his move. One moment, I'm in his lap with his hand around my throat, and the next, I'm on my back with him above me, a hand at my hip and a hand under my head to shield from the ground. "That will never happen. There isn't a world where you aren't mine." His words cause butterflies to erupt in my stomach "And it wasn't just fucking sex."

     My breaths come out in hard pants as he looms over me, his onyx eyes never leaving mine. "Don't, Xaden," I whisper, placing my hand on his chest and pushing slightly. He doesn't move, not even an inch, so I push harder. "Please, Xaden. Please."

     He closes his eyes for a moment before opening them, and I see a war behind them. After something gives in inside him, he pushes off me and sits on his haunches at my feet. I scoot back and raise myself to my elbows as I turn my head to the side, studying his features. "Is that what you want?"

     I swallow the lump in my throat. "If you can't give me what I truly want, then yes. I won't subject myself to this. I have dignity and respect for myself."

     He sighs deeply, turning his attention to the forest behind me. "I can't give you that. I can give you flowers, sweet nothings, the fucking world, but I can't give you that. I can't give you me completely."

     "I'm not asking for you completely," I snap, my anger rising. The ground shakes as I try to reign it in. Xaden looks at me with apprehension. "I'm asking for respect. If you want me to trust you, then you have to trust me." I search his eyes when he says nothing. "It's for the best. For both of us. I don't like to be in this position, and I don't want to put you in this position."

     "What position?" He stands at his full height, shoving his hands into his pockets. I hate being this small in his presence, so I scramble to my feet, my sketch pad and charcoal falling on the blanket. "Where we are right now is perfect."