Where All My Hope Is

Conviction

"You said love is what makes you strong?" She grabbed my arm and pulled me up from the ground, "Now you will die for love."

She shoved me away from her into the arms of a waiting soldier, who grabbed my wrists and tied them behind my back.

I glanced at Ezra, his beautiful face blurred by hot tears.

The guard who was holding me pushed me towards him, without my arms to steady myself I stumbled and began to fall.

Ezra lunged towards me, his hand miraculously untied. He caught me before I could hit the ground and helped me to my feet. The guards all stared at his free hands, dumbfounded.

"Tie the filthy Zyanyan back up!" Kaya screeched. Impatiently, she grabbed a length of rope and ran towards him to do it herself. I stepped in front of Ezra not exactly sure what I was going to do, but determined to protect him in any way I could.

I felt Ezra's warm hand in my shoulder and his soft voice whispering in my ear, "It's ok, there is nothing we can do now." He gently nudged me aside and held his hands out so Kaya could grab them.

She grabbed them and roughly pushed him around so his hands were behind his back. She looped the rope around his wrists forming a knot that not even I would have been able to escape from.

She yanked at the ends of the rope, tying it unnecessarily tight and causing it to dig into his wrists. He winced and I yearned to ease his pain in some way, but I knew there was nothing I could do.

Guilt flooded over me and my heart longed to reach out to Adonai. I lowered my head in shame, fully aware that I was directly disobeying him.

I'm sorry Father! I silently yelled. I care for him so, so much... One salty tear rolled down my nose, dripping onto the dirt. I can't lose him again.

I lifted my head, my eyes filled with a new found fire. I would not give up. Ezra and I were together. What more did we need?

I gasped as a sharp pain erupted in my abdomen . It felt as though my stomach was twisting itself into knots. It reminded me of the cruel feeling I had been filled with earlier that day. But this... Whatever this was, it was so, so much worse.

The dark presence clawed its way up my chest placing its cold hands around my throat making it difficult to breathe.

I felt someone grab me and push me forwards, my mind was too clouded by pain to resist.

I felt someone loosen the ropes around my wrists and slip it off. I noticed the same being done for the others.

Ezra, Aurora, Asher, and I were all shoved into some sort of large wooden box attached to the back of a wagon. The doors were shut behind us, which left us in near total darkness. The only light filling into the box entered through multiple small holes on the ceiling of the box.

Once I had regained my senses, I lunged towards Ezra, burying myself in his arms and releasing a guttural sob.

"I'm so sorry, Ezra, I couldn't leave you." He gently picked me up, sitting me next to me and wrapping his arms around me.

"Shhh..." Ezra whispered melodically. "It's ok. We have Adonai and each other. What more do we need?" Asher shifted in his seat, disgust on his face.

The dark presence clawed at my heart once more, "Ezra, you don't understand!" I cried, staring up at his captivating amber eyes.

He cocked his head, his eyes filling with confusion. "What do I not understand?"

I buried my head in my hands, too ashamed to look him in the eyes. Already, I could feel that Adonai was deeply disappointed in me.

"He told me not to come..." I whispered, attempting to stifle my sobs.

"He told me to leave you. Ezra, I promised! I will never abandon you. You have to understand that!"

He grabbed my shoulders, "Fae, who! Who told you to leave me?!"

I glanced up at him but instantly turned away. "Adonai..." I heard a gasp from the other side of the box and spun around. I had completely forgotten about Aurora and Asher.

They were huddled in the corner of the box both staring at me, completely awestruck.

"Yo- You disobeyed a direct order from Adonai?" Asher stuttered.

Slowly I nodded, my eyes still red and puffy. I turned towards Ezra, not prepared for the pure look of disbelief plastered on his face.

"Fae, why would you do something so stupid? I'm not worth half of what you've sacrificed for me! Adonai asks for our 'all on the altar!' And you just kick him aside?"

"Oh, great," I thought, "Now he hates me! "

I snapped my head up instantly, meeting his gaze, "Listen to me, Ezra Killian, I would sacrifice my life for you. And it would be worth it. You are worth the world."

He sighed deeply in disappointment and rolled his eyes as my words shot from my mouth.

How dare he! I thought, I couldn't believe him! He was about to say something when the box was jerked forward and we started to move.

I shuddered, realizing again the annoyance boys could cause by always being tactful. Why did he always have to state the obvious? Couldn't he realize what I had done for him? The dark feeling from earlier that day returned to my stomach, twisting it into knots. The truth came crashing down on me like a wave. I had disobeyed Adonai.

You may go with your lover, and be with him until he dies, which won't be too much longer.

Kaya's words echoed around inside my head, a shiver coursed through my body as another cruel truth set in.

Ezra, Asher, and Aurora were to be executed.

I broke into a cold sweat, the world around me spinning. As my vision began to fade, I thought I heard a laugh cackling in the distance.