My Autumn with April

Ten

~April~

You have got to be kidding me. 

This town is really starting to get on my fucking nerves now. Dirty looks when I'm shopping for groceries and being stared at by the staff to make sure I don't steal anything is one thing. I kind of get it. I could deal with that. Eventually they'll realize I'm not doing anything wrong and they'll leave me alone. But this? Painting the word 'Whore' across the bakery window? 

It just doesn't make any fucking sense to me. 

I literally haven't done anything wrong. 

I closed my eyes for a second, taking a deep breath before heading to the door and grabbing the cleaning stuff to get rid of it. Whoever did this was likely the same person that decided posting an aggressive letter through my door this morning whilst I drank my coffee and flicked through one of my recipe books. 

I can't even say I didn't agree with most of the things in there. I am a burden, people were better off without me here, the guys were likely only calling me a friend because of Autumn and Maya and like the letter said, those girls were dumped with me against their will years ago and likely didn't have the heart to tell me they didn't want me around. 

But right now, I have nowhere else to go and every penny to my name has gone into this bakery so until I can save back up and go elsewhere, I'm stuck here. 

Once I'd cleaned any evidence of the graffiti off the window I came back inside. It's late and I should probably go home but I feel sick and I don't think being there is going to help anything. So I did the only thing I could. I started making the fillings for everything I was going to be spending all day tomorrow baking ready for Monday. 

I think I'd built coming home up so much in my head that I forgot the reality of what living here had always been like. I couldn't blame anyone. My parents weren't model citizens like everyone else here and I guess there was a deep fear in everyone's parents that I was going to end up the same and drag Autumn and Elliott and everyone else down with me. That's why no one every tried to stop me leaving. Never asked me to come home for the holidays or asked me what I was doing for summer. 

But I love this island. People aside, this place is home to me and being out here makes me feel better than being anywhere else. Even if that bar is still in the shit of things, anything that feels better, is better. 

I hope, that maybe once the bakery is open and people get used to seeing me around, the standoffish behaviour will die and I can finally be seperated from my parents mistakes because I am not them. I'm not a drunk, I'm trying to make a living here. I've got money to fall back on in savings if I really need it. 

I ignored the knock on the front door, figuring whoever it was would just be looking to hurl more abuse at me and I really don't think I could take it right now. I've taken enough for one day and pairing that with shouting at Elliott today has pushed me right to the edge of things I can handle. I'm lucky I'm not crying into this butter cream. 

My phone began to ring out and I looked over to it on the counter. I groaned, tipping my head back and dropping the spoon into the bowl before answering with the most sunshine I could muster. 

"Hey!" 

"Hi." El's deep voice permeated through the line, punching me straight in the gut. "Are you in the bakery right now?" 

"Mhm." 

"Oh thank god. I wondered why the lights were on. Let me in, I'm at the front door." 

"Um, I'm kind of busy."