My Autumn with April

Thirty Five

~Elliott~

April sunk down into the couch, pulling the tiny thing into her arms as if this was the job she'd waited her entire life for. 

"Are you sure you're okay watching her?" Winter pulled on the necklace around her neck as she stood in the doorway. "I can just tell them something came-" 

"It's fine Win. Don't worry." April smiled down at the baby and as much as this was a decent sized change to the plans we had whilst we were in Newport for the next couple of days, I could so clearly see on her face that looking after her best friends new born was something she was beyond excited to do. "Go, I'd say have fun but we both know that's not possible." 

Winter looked at me, then back to April who was too busy cooing over Paisley to look up. This looked so good on her. 

"There's- milk in the fridge and some frozen if she needs more. Each pack has instructions on it. Nappies and wipes-" 

"Winter. We've got it." I turned to face the anxious mother still stood in the doorway. "Don't worry. Go see your parents. We're going to be fine here. And you don't need to rush back, I'm pretty sure she might murder you if you try to steal any time from her with her niece." April giggled behind me so that was a definite yes. I knew it. She'd spent all of Winter's unplanned secretive pregnancy telling me we'd have to be going to see this baby more than a few times a year, just how excited she was to be the fun aunt that does everything with them that mum won't let them. As if the kid needed more than Summer to do that with and she's here constantly. 

Winter looked back at April who let her shoulders drop before looking up at her in the door way, that necklace now pulled up around her lip with nerves. 

"Winter. If you don't go you know for a fact your parents will show up here and they'll start asking why the cot is in your room. So your options here are go now or tell them you had a kid to some one night stand." 

"Yeah, so I'm gonna go." 

"Thought as much. Have fun." Winter takes one more look at Paisley and nods to herself, grabbing her bag off the side before turning to the big door and leaving. I waited a few seconds before heading back to the couch and settling down beside April. I put my arm around her shoulder, tucking her hair out of the way before I could press a kiss to her head. "She's so cute." 

"She's really cute. So much hair too." 

"You think Winter would be mad if I put it in tiny baby pigtails?" 

"No but I think Summer might murder you for doing it before she could." 

"Eh, she's the one who pissed off to Rome for the week." April shrugged and Pip squirmed against her chest. It's been almost a year of me and April. A year of us being as we should have been for years but I am so thankful that this happened when it did. When we both desperately needed someone to put our everything into. And a year later I'm even more sure of just how right we fit into each other. But watching her like this? Seeing a smile on her face I've never seen before. We sit there in the quiet, watching Paisley sleep, watching April's facing change a dozen different times. "El?" 

"Mhm." 

"I think I've been lying to myself." 

"About what?"

"About not wanting to be a mum." She shuffles into me a little more. "I don't regret having the operation. It's made my life more manageable and I'm grateful I'm not dreading every single month like I was before. But-" 

"But you convinced yourself you didn't want them so it would be easier to have it?" She nods. "Well that's okay. That operation was so much better than you being in constant pain and almost falling unconscious every month. Like you said when you told me, there's more than one way for us to have one of these if you want one." April looked up at me, a hope in her eyes that made me almost want to steal Paisley, just so she could have what she wanted immediately. 

"You'd do that?" 

"Have a baby with you?" She nods. "Fuck yeah. Why the hell not?!" She smiled again, this time laying her head down onto my shoulder. "I told you Love. I'm all in this. I could leave or take kids I'm not huge on it either way. But watching you be a mum would be really cool." 

"Even if they're not yours biologically?" 

"Would that make them any less my kids?" April looked back up at me. "I love you with all my heart April. You didn't need to be my blood for me to fall in love with every single piece of you. If we decide to adopt or whatever other route we go down, I'll love our kids the same way. With everything I possibly can." 

"I think adopting would be good." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. There's so many kids out there that come from homes like mine before Dad got help. I remember how lonely it was. That I felt like I was the only person going through it all. It'd be nice to give something back, you know? To bring a kid in that's going through that and show them that they're not alone and they can make a life after." 

"And they probably wouldn't have the newborn, shitting up their back stage." April cackled, head falling back on my arm. God she's so fucking perfect. "That sounds good. But there is only one catch about it." 

"What catch?" I kissed April's head quickly as Paisley whimpered. She looked back to the baby, playing with the dummy to get it back in her mouth. It gave me just enough time. Just a few seconds to push my hand into my pocket and do something I'd been trying to do all weekend but the moment kept vanishing. I toyed with the ring in my hand before tilting her head back to me with one finger. 

"Marry me first."