My Autumn with April

Thirty Three

~Elliott~

I don't think I've ever been in this much pain before. Staring at her in the hospital bed with no one else here yet. She's fine. Reasonably anyway. Broken ankle, concussion. Bumps and bruises and things that time will heal and yet I'm terrified she's going to wake up and still want to go. That my parents have fucked with her belief in what is best for me. Because apparently, I don't have the ability to make that decision myself. 

The past 5 hours have been beyond chaotic. Flying in a helicopter across the bay to the nearest hospital and not being able to do anything other than sit in the corner, praying to every god that ever existed that she makes it through this. 

I don't know who I am without April. 

As crazy as that sounds when she's only been home 6 months. But even when she was away, My world revolved around trying to move on with a life where I know she exists but she was out of my grasp. The things I feel for her, I know I would never feel for anyone else. She's sunshine and oxygen and the ocean and the forest and I want nothing more than to love her and be loved by her. I never cared who her parents were or who she will be in the future because I know her. I know her mind and I know her heart and I know that April is the purest person I've ever met and I want- need her to be mine forever. 

The private room door pushed open quietly, one of April's friends poking her head into the room. Long black hair, steel grey eyes and the same look of panic I imagine everyone that knows her has right now. 

"Elliott, right?" I stare at her, nod and slowly stand up, coming out of the room and into the packed corridor. Winter, Summer, Autumn, Maya and Noah stood in a semi circle, wrapped up from whatever journey had gotten them here as quickly as they could manage. "What's happening? Is she okay?" 

"She uh- she'll be okay. Broken ankle, dislocated shoulder, a couple fractured bones and a baddish concussion that's going to give her a solid migraine for a good few weeks but no internal bleeding, no damage to her brain." The whole group seemed to let out a sigh of relief as Maya stepped forward and wrapped me into a quick hug, stepping back so Autumn could do the same. "Did you guys-" 

"Call a town meeting and warn everyone? Hell yeah." Noah scowled. 

"My dad's handling it." Maya added, looking to Winter and Summer. I don't know who is who but I know from pictures April has shown me that that's their names. "You guys called her parent-" 

"ELLIOTT!" I clenched my jaw as the group looked down the hall, my parents and Bridget's heels clicking against the polished floor. I couldn't even look at them right now. Not without landing myself in jail anyway. "Elliott- excuse- Elliott what ha-" My mother grabbed at my face, trying to check me over as if it was me that had taken the fall down the stairs. I pushed her hand off me, averting my eyes literally anywhere else. "Someone said you were rushed here. What hap-" 

"You." I snapped my eyes back to my mother and then my father. "You two are what happened. What the fuck did you say to her huh?" My mum stepped back slightly from my tone. Not one that I'd used with them before but I was beyond playing polite. They almost took her from me. She'd been silent for days in trying to push me out and right now the only explanation I had was that my parents told her I deserved better. That I deserved Bridget and how they thought that bitch was better than my girl had been fucking with my head since April passed out. 

"I don't-" 

"I'm fine. April however is currently in there unconscious because you two fucked with her head and told her she doesn't deserve me. What the fuck did you do? I told you. I told you that she is what I want. That I don't give a fuck about her parents or anything else. I don't care of you guys want to throw a fucking strop about it. That girl in there is my fucking life and you two just what- strolled up to her and did exactly what I told you not to do-" 

"Ellio-" 

"Shut the fuck up dad." I gritted my teeth and turned my glare to him. "I told you I am done playing to your fucking rules and expectations of me. Bridget is a stuck up cow who needs to get a grip on reality. And you two- you two deserve to rot in hell for the pain you've given my girlfriend. If you think telling her she's not fucking worthy of me is going to stop us then you're wrong. So get fucked. Go and get back on your boat back home, go tell the island whatever shit you need to in order to make yourselves feel all powerful but from this point onwards you don't have a son." I stared into my father' eyes, refusing to back down as my mother begged and pleaded, as Bridget ran back down the hall sobbing. I hate them. I hate them for whatever they did to April, I hate them for ruining April's life years ago, I hate them for being so closed minded that they couldn't even try and accept that she made me beyond happy. I would rather have April than 2 people who couldn't put my happiness above their incessant need to be better than everyone. 

"Hey El?" Maya tugged on my sleeve but I didn't move. "El, she's coming around." I looked down at Maya who gave me a quick nod and I turned, leaving my father where he was without a single care as to whether he stayed or left or fell off the face of the earth. Right now, they were dead to me and my girl needed me there when she woke up. 

I came back into the packed out room, everyone making room for me to get back to my chair that had been pulled right up beside the bed. I grabbed her hand as she stirred slightly. Her head falling towards me, a whisp of ginger hair falling back over her eye. I reach up and brush it back, tucking it behind her ear as her eyes slowly fluttered open. 

April's eyes are stuck on me and despite the pile of people stood at the bottom of the bed, it feels like we're in our own world. She's all puppy dog eyes that set free a million butterflies in my stomach. "Terrible news." 

"What?" She croaks and a smile breaks on my face. 

"You lost a leg, I had to give you mine. Now you're going to be wonky forever." The smallest smile pulls at her lips and I chuckle, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to the middle of her forehead, the tip of her nose, her cheek. "You're gonna be okay baby. Nothing serious." 

"Did they check to see if she has a brain?" Maya huffs from the bottom of the bed and April's eyes double in size, clearly concerned with how many kisses I have pressed to her face with people watching. Not that it mattered when I'd practically screamed that we were together down the hospital corridor a few minutes ago. 

"Yeah." Autumn sighs, holding the clipboard from the bottom of the bed. "Apparently it's so big she can have half transplanted. Hey! Maya, now's your chance to get something in your skull since it's empty." 

"Ha- fucking-ha. You know what-" I look back at April as they continue bickering at the bottom of the bed, somehow dragging Winter and Summer into it all as they all decide to volunteer a slither of brain just to Maya has a chance. Noah and Jonah try to fight their laughter in the corner of the room. But even in the chaos going on here, I can see her mind ticking whilst she looks at me. 

"I love you." I tell her. Not a single doubt in my mind. "I love you and nothing anyone has to say about it matters other than us. You are all that matters to me. You always have been all that matters to me. We can talk about what happened when the time is right but I need you to know that no one else is going to be good enough for me because you are the other half of me. I was made to be yours April. No one elses." April stares at me, eyes becoming teary again as she over thinks. "I love you. I've loved you for over a decade. I'll love you tomorrow and in 10 years time. When we're old and everything aches and we're taking so many tablets that we rattle when we move. I'll still love you just as much then as I do today." 

I wipe away April's tears, kiss the bridge of her nose where they gather and hope that she believes me. That this time is the right amount for her to believe me, that I won't have to worry about her leaving again. But I think that's a worry I'm always going to have. The fear that she's going to be better somewhere else, that I'm not going to be enough for her. So until that day comes, I will be the person I believe she deserves. I will shower her with love and affection and I will be the man I want her to be with and I will treasure every second.