Remember How I Love You (Sequel to 'Through Fire and Water')

A Choice

Ana's P.O.V.

With thoughts of my parents, of love and of strength swimming round in my head, and the last words of my prayer still fading on my lips, I slip into a sleep I desperately need. And while I sleep I dream.All my life I've had the same dream again and again, memories of me parent's deaths. I've rarely dreamt about anything else. But tonight I have a different dream.

I'm curled up in a bed, gloriously soft and comfortable, and light streams in through gaps in the curtains of the white bedroom I find myself in. I slowly open my eyes and find I'm not alone in this room. On the right of my bed sits a man, a handsome elf with dark brown hair down to his shoulders, and on the left of my bed sits a woman, a beautiful female elf with long, blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. They both smile at me as I wake.

"Mum? Dad?"

I say it instinctively, but the words have barely left my lips and I'm already doubting them. There's no denying who these people are, even if I hadn't seen their faces in Galadriel's mirror I would know them anywhere. They are, without a doubt, my parents. But I have never in my life called them that before. When I was little, when I knew them, they were mummy and daddy, and since I lost them I have only referred to them as my parents, my mother and father or by their names, once I found them out.

My mother smiles, apparently sensing my inner doubts because she says "Please, Ana, we're all grownups. Call me Lhinnil"

"And call me Hannor" my father says.

Well of course they know what I'm thinking, this is my dream after all.

I slip from my bed and Hannor and Lhinnil watch me walk to the window.

"I prayed for you to come"

"We know" Lhinnil says.

"You said you didn't want to be alone", Hannor this time.

Lhinnil comes to stand beside me, cupping my face in her soft and gentle hands. "You said you were scared, baby" she says, her voice sweet and caring, but it's as though she's talking to a small child. "Are you scared now?"

"Not here, not with you" I reply, allowing myself to be taken in by her caring. I catch sight of Hannor out of the corner of my eye. He's giving me a very steady, calculated look.

"You said you needed strength" he says slowly, still sat by the bed "just until you could find your own"

"I did" I reply.

"And you said you needed our love" Lhinnil says, wrapping her arms around me. In truth I'm a little taller than her but only a little, and she's wearing shoes and I'm barefoot, so she manages to press our cheeks together "You will always have our love, my sweet"

"I know" I reply, my voice a whisper as I fight back tears.

"And as for strength" Hannor says, rising to his feet "You have plenty of that yourself, far more than either you or I know"

"But I can't find it" I reply, helplessly.

"Maybe you're just not looking deep enough. It's there, deep down. More strength than you will ever need, just remember us and we'll guide you to it"

"Love is the key, Ariana" Lhinnil says "Love is where true strength lies. And you have so much love, love you give and love you receive. You are loved Ariana, by so, so many"

A few silent tears slip from my eyes, and from Lhinnil's."I am so proud of you my baby" she whispers, holding me tight.

"As am I" Hannor says, wrapping his arms around the two of us "You are perfect. I could never have dreamed of a better person for you to be"

We stand like that for minutes, holding each other in silence. But eventually we pull apart, Lhinnil moving to the nightstand to pour herself a drink of water and Hannor moving to perch on the windowsill while I stare out the window.Outside I can see a vast expanse of gritty beach, and then a calm, still ocean. The sky is bright and clear but it has a hint of grey to it and I can see no sun. There is no breeze, no wind. The world outside is completely still.

"What is this place?" I ask.

"It's nowhere" Hannor replies "It's a land between two worlds"

"Which worlds?"

"One is a land of sunshine, of green and plenty and everyone is happy, everyone is peaceful. The other is painful and rough and nothing is certain, joy there is hard fought for and hard won, and it is so much more sweet for being so. The peaceful world is woven out of one eternity, whereas the other is built up of infinite eternities, countless souls' eternities"

"This place is your decision" Lhinnil says behind me. I stare outside at the endless beach.

"And what decision might that be?"

"Do you take the easy road or the hard road? Go right and you'll sail across the sea into eternity and peace, go left and you'll have to fight for every second"

"The easy way, it's death isn't it?" I ask

"It's not that simple" Hannor says.

"But-"

"I'm sorry, Ana, but I can't say any more than that"

"So which way will you choose?" Lhinnil asks.

I falter, unsure of what to say.

"We go right" Hannor says "back to where we came from. You can come with us, or you can go the other way alone. It's time to choose"

"Come with us my baby girl" Lhinnil says, coming up to me and stroking my cheek "Come with us and everything will be bright and easy again"

"But you will lose everything else in your life. Where we go, your family cannot follow. Legolas, Estel, Thalion, they would all remain behind. You can come with us to the land beyond pain, or you can stay where you are and fight for everything you still have"

"I don't know" I whisper "I just... I don't want to feel all this pain anymore"

"The pain is worth it sweetheart" Lhinnil says "Even if you only live for one bright moment then it will all be worth it"

Suddenly my legs give out beneath me and I end up sprawled on the floor, desperately thirsty; stiff, bruised and cut all over; head throbbing; eyes gritty and heavy and ankle in agony. I can barely keep my eyes open and the last thing I see as my vision starts to fade is Hannor and Lhinnil leaning over me.

"We will always be waiting for you" Lhinnil whispers.

"Fight Ana, fight for everything you have" Hannor says.