Remember How I Love You (Sequel to 'Through Fire and Water')

Remember How I Love You

Legolas' P.O.V.

I hate hospitals, I really do, because when you find yourself in a hospital that usually means something is wrong. Something is wrong today, but it seems almost nothing compared to what's right. Ana is back in my arms, back where she belongs, and even though she's unconscious and in a hospital bed, bandaged up and scrubbed clean, she's home and everything's alright. Her face is even more beautiful than I remember and all I want to do is hold her close and never let go again.

Aragorn brought her home a few hours ago, she was unconscious but he assured us she's alright. He couldn't tell us much about where she's been, apparently she wasn't much up to talking, all he knows is there was a man and he wouldn't let her leave. He says she was a terrified wreck but I imagine that once she saw her father that all went away. He'll always protect her and she knows it, it's the job of every father to protect his children, and no matter how much she thinks she's grown up she'll always be his little girl.

I'm going to find the man who scared her so much, whoever he was I'm going to find him. But not today, not now, because now I'm going to stay with Ana. The kids wanted to see her, but we didn't want to upset them when Ana wasn't waking up so they were allowed a few minutes to assure themselves she was alright, just sleeping, before Aragorn took them away.

I've thought hard about whether or not I should tell Ana about what happened between Nemir and me. That would be the honourable thing to do of course, to come clean and beg forgiveness. But I've finally decided that I can't. Not because I'm scared she'll leave, not because I'm ashamed, I am ashamed and I am afraid but that's not why I can't tell her. If Ana knew what we'd done it would crush her. The two people she should be able to trust most betrayed her. I could never cause her that kind of pain. I'm supposed to protect her, to stand by her and be there for her. I'm supposed to be her loyal rock, the one she can rely on most. But I wasn't. It was only for a day, but I vowed to be true all my life even if that's forever. It doesn't matter if it was one kiss or a thousand nights of passion, they're both betrayal and I broke my vow.

I have to live with that knowledge. I have to lie awake at night and feel the guilt and the hatred of myself for being so weak when everyone closest to me needed me to be strong. But Ana doesn't. People say that you should be open and truthful in a relationship, but people also say that the truth hurts and what Ana doesn't know can't hurt her.

So I can't tell her. I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what I did and never feeling like I've done enough, but I can't tell her. I love her too much for that.

In my arms, Ana stirs a little, trying to find a more comfortable spot before she finally opens her eyes. I've missed those eyes, so blue and pure and perfect and most of all they're Ana's and I would know them anywhere. There's that moment of confusion that everyone has when they first wake up but it soon clears and Ana looks at me like she's seen a ghost. I smile gently at her and whisper "Hello beautiful"

"Are you really here?" she whispers back and I nod.

"I'm really here, Ana, and you're here too, and the kids are with Aragorn and Nemir and everything's alright and you're safe. I love you"

Those words feel right coming out of my mouth and it feels even more right when she smiles and says it back.

"I love you too" she whispers "let's never fight again"

"Agreed" I reply. Ana smiles. Apparently satisfied that everything really is alright she wriggles in my arms slightly and closes her eyes again, we'll catch up properly later when she's feeling better but for now she seems content to sleep.

She's so peaceful. She's so beautiful. She's so perfect. I always knew I loved her, but suddenly it feels as though I forgot just how much, like I've been asleep and have only just woken up.

"I will never hurt you" I whisper to the sleeping form of my wife "I love you. If you ever feel lost or alone then I promise to find you. If things ever get tough again then I promise to remember how I love you and use that to get me through it. That's all I need, all I will ever need. I love you"