Remember How I Love You (Sequel to 'Through Fire and Water')

Stay

Legolas' P.O.V.

"Have a good day, you two!" I call as father and Thalion head out of the door. Estel's seems almost entirely better now, just tired, and so father has agreed to take Thalion for the day so she can have some quiet, although as they leave it's hard to tell who's more excited Thalion or father.

Nemir hasn't shown up yet, I'm not sure if she will. After what happened yesterday I doubt things between us could be normal, especially if we were alone. I won't turn her away if she does show up, I don't want anyone to know that things are different now, but I'll not say anything if she doesn't arrive either.

Nemir does show up, but much later than usual, probably because she knew Thalion would be up so we wouldn't be alone. She knocks on the door though, usually she would just walk in, and so I'm not expecting it to be her when I answer.

"Good morning" is about all I can manage to say and all she can say back before I stand aside and let her in. She looks confused when there's no Thalion around and seems almost apprehensive when I tell her he went with Thranduil. That's replaced with a look of relief when I tell her that Estel's up, whether that's relief that Estel's getting better or relief that we won't have to be alone, I can't tell.

In what can only be described as an impressive display of avoidance, we manage not to be alone together all day, either doing things in separate rooms or by doing things in the same room as Estel. Estel goes to bed early though, and Thalion still isn't home, so when I come through to the sitting room from saying goodnight to Estel I find Nemir there, tidying some things away. I briefly consider the possibility of diving out of the room and hiding somewhere else until father brings Thalion home, but it's already too late. Nemir looks up from her tidying when I enter and we both freeze, unsure of what to do.

After a moment of silence, Nemir plucks up the courage to open her mouth and say something.

"I'm..." she falters.

I want to beg her to stop, to leave, to do anything to avoid this conversation, but I'm still too scared to speak in case I make it worse.

"I'm sorry" she whispers "I'm sorry for yesterday. I know it was nothing to do with you, it was my fault, I should have stopped myself, it's just..." she says it all in one breath but then she can't seem to bring herself to finish. I watch as she takes a deep breath and tries to compose herself. "We were tired and stressed and worried about Estel, we just wanted some comfort. I should never have put you in that position"

She turns to walk out of the room but all I know is that I can't let her go.

"Nemir, wait!" She turns to look at me, eyes wide and expectant. "It's not your fault" I start to walk towards her, not wanting to have this conversation across a room. "It was just as much me as it was you"

"You didn't lean in, Legolas. I leant in towards you and you stood there like a statue. You were the one who pulled away. If you hadn't, I don't think I could have stopped myself"

"And if I hadn't, I think I would have let you"

We're whispering, like we're afraid that if we speak too loud someone will hear, even though there's no one else here. But that whispering makes this moment seem more intimate, and the fact that I can't draw my eyes from hers isn't helping.

"It's still my fault you were in that position in the first place. I'm sorry"

For some reason, I'm shaking my head, desperate for her to stop apologising. And for the second time in as many days, time freezes. Something in my mind detaches itself from reason, from what's right and wrong, from everything real. And that small part takes over.

"Don't be" I whisper. I don't give Nemir a chance to respond, don't give her or myself a chance to think. I kiss her.

It's an act entirely on impulse and I kind of want her to pull away, to slap me and ask me what the hell I'm doing. She doesn't pull away, she kisses back. There's no hesitation in her, not even a moment to work out what's happening, it's as if she expected it.

We don't say anything to each other for a long time, it seems like words would only complicate this and at the moment it's all so very simple. When Nemir does eventually pull away it's only to whisper a single word. "Finally"

We only stop because Thalion comes home.

Once Thalion's in bed we sit on the sofa, we don't say anything but Nemir leans against me. Eventually it's far too late for Nemir to leave and so I ask her to stay the night. She agrees, but says she'll sleep on the sofa in case one of the kids comes in. It's a smart call, especially since I'm not sure just what it is that's happened yet, and I'm not sure how far I'm going to let myself take this.

I'm dreaming. I have to be. Never in my waking hours would I do something like this, and never in my waking hours would I want to. But as I lie alone in my bed, far too cold and empty for far too long, I think about Nemir, sleeping in the other room, and I can't bring myself to regret what happened.

Suddenly the darkness of the room is broken by a faint light, leaking in through the cracks between the door and its frame and growing steadily brighter until it stops just outside my door, waiting for a moment before the handle turns and the door swings open, barely making a sound on the well-oiled hinges. Nemir is stood in the doorway, holding a candle.

"I couldn't sleep" she whispers.

"Me neither" I reply. Nemir doesn't wait for an invitation, entering and carefully shutting the door behind her.

"Do we need to talk about this?" she asks, coming to perch on the edge of the bed.

"I don't think that's wise. Talking confuses things, I don't want to have to think about it"

Nemir nods her understanding. She looks troubled for a moment, refusing to meet my eyes, but when she does finally look at me she smiles. "Legolas, how is your hair still perfect even when you're in bed?"

"It daren't be messy. My hair knows who's in charge here and it's me"

Nemir smiles again and it suits her. The night air is cold and she's got to be feeling it so I lift back the blankets and she crawls in, automatically curling up in my arms. It feels good to have someone here again, someone I can protect through the night. I kiss her head softly.

"It won't be like this tomorrow, will it?" I ask "When morning comes around, things will go back to how they were"

"What makes you say that?"

"Because neither of us knows how this happened, personally I'm not entirely sure what this even is, and when morning comes around we'll find our self-control again. As far as I'm concerned, this is all a dream, and when I wake up in the morning the dream will be over and life will be real again"

"I don't want to wake up" she whispers "I don't want things to be real again"

"I know"

We're quiet for a bit and I start to think that Nemir's fallen asleep, but then she pipes up "I should probably go back, can't have one of the kids coming in to see you and finding me in your bed"

"You're probably right"

We're quiet again for a moment, reluctant to act on the side of responsibility.

"Legolas"

"Yes"

"Just because this is a dream doesn't mean we can't make the most of it before we have to wake up"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'll still be here in the morning if you ask me to be" Nemir says, leaning on one elbow so that she can look me in the face before placing a gentle kiss on my lips

"I shouldn't"

"Why not? Forget everything else, pretend that there's no tomorrow, no reality. Only now" she says, kissing me again before pulling away and running her fingers through my hair. "I'll be here in the morning, if you say stay"

"Nemir"

"If you say stay to me"

"Stay"