Heartquake

Heartquake 1

Her name was Ellyn.

She was the sweetest girl he knew, always telling the boys not to pick on Merlin because of his ears and then would invite him to her house and talk over burnt biscuits and cold tea. She was pretty, too, all blonde hair and green eyes and slender frames.

Then, one day, she stopped being just pretty. She started being beautiful. And he started being handsome.

She still invited him to her house, but not to eat biscuits but to share secrets of their bodies and swipe stolen kisses in her bed. They were seventeen and his life changed.

His daughter's name is Emeline.

"Merlin, if you're so tired, then go to sleep," Gaius says over dinner.

"But I'm hungry," Merlin moans.

"You're also tired. I'm sure your hunger will not haunt you in your sleep," Gaius says.

"Fine," Merlin puts his bowl down.

As he's starting towards his room, a knock is heard from the door. Gaius and Merlin exchange a cautious look, and his guardian looks to him with that glare, silently asking, what have you done now, Merlin?

But the young man merely shrugs. He's done nothing incriminating. Recently.

When Gaius opens the door, Merlin almost feels his exhaustion flying out the window because there's the smiling face of his mother.

"Mother!" Merlin smiles.

"Hunith, what are you doing here?" Gaius asks.

"Someone really wanted to see Merlin," Hunith enters the room, revealing a small figure holding her right hand.

She immediately lets go of the grip and comes running towards Merlin. Merlin, in anticipation, crouches down and opens his arms wide to welcome the embrace. The girl is no older than four years of age, with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes and she positively melts in Merlin's arms.

Merlin sighs with happiness and says, "I missed you, Em."

The girl, Em, grips tighter onto Merlin. "I missed you, too, Daddy."

Merlin places his daughter in his bed and watches admiringly as she falls asleep without a sound, tucked around his blankets and arm around the ratty soft toy Will had made her.

She's refused to be without it since she got it, and even more so when Will died, so Merlin says nothing about it. He goes out and sees Gaius and his mother conversing in hushed tones.

"So, Mother, what are you doing here? You've never had any occasion to bring Emeline to Camelot before," Merlin sits down. "Not that I'm complaining. Ellyn only lets me see her a few days every other month."

"It's about Ellyn, Merlin," Hunith says. Her eyebrows knit together and her eyes speak of sympathy.

"What happened?"

"Ellyn's sick, Merlin. Very sick. She's no longer capable of taking care of Emeline. She says she doesn't have long to live, and she wanted her daughter to be somewhere safe, with someone she could trust when..."

"Can't she be cured? Can't I cure her?" Merlin asks, his voice cracking.

He and Ellyn might not be together anymore but he still cares deeply for her, and she is the mother of his child. There would be nothing short of anything he would not do for her.

"Merlin, no," Hunith says, holding his hand. "There's nothing more you can do for her. She's accepted it, you should, too."

"Emeline needs her mother," Merlin shakes his head in disbelief.

"Yes, but she also needs her father," Gaius puts a comforting hand on his ward's back. Merlin turns back and sees the small silhouette of his daughter and sighs.

"I dunno if I can do this," he says.

"You have us," Gaius says.

"Yes, and if you are ever overwhelmed, Emeline is always welcome back at Ealdor and she can stay with me," his mother says comfortingly.

He meets her eyes, and wonders about the day she found out she was pregnant, about the day Merlin was born, and how she felt. Did she feel like this? Did she wonder if she would be a good parent?

"It's going to be alright." This time, he believes her. For his daughter's sake, he believes her.