Heartquake

Heartquake 4

This is getting ridiculous. He’s spent months like this, with this sudden, alien feeling gnawing at him whenever Merlin’s around, the one that makes him smile whenever Merlin does something completely idiotic, but, today, with the addition of Merlin’s daughter, there’s another feeling added there.

Some kind of green thing that sits on the top of his chest and breathes heavily until he can’t sleep. Jealousy. Obviously, he’s not jealous of Emeline.

The girl is charming, the little female version of his manservant, who smiles and walks with little timid steps like a porcelain angel.

No, he’s jealous of her mother. Merlin’s past is something of a mystery to him, he knows that he doesn’t know half of the things he should know for someone who’s completely besotted with his manservant, and he should’ve known there had been significant other at some point in time because Merlin is, granted, attractive.

Though it’s the kind of attractiveness that you don’t wish upon anyone but find it charming over time.

Of course Merlin would have had a lover in the nineteen years he’s been living before arriving in Camelot but, at least, before, there was no concrete proof of that so Arthur can continue his fantasies of being Merlin’s first. But, now, there is proof, in the form of a living, breathing human being.

Gods, he’s pathetic. He’s jealous of a woman he’s never met, that had, once before, loved the man he cares deeply for. A complete, utter, fucking pathetic excuse for a prince, that’s what Arthur Pendragon is.

No, he’s not the great future king of Camelot, no, now he’s acting like a lovesick, mentally deranged teenager for the sake of a love that can’t possibly be. Because he’s Arthur and Merlin is Merlin and this is ridiculous.

“Em, stop tugging!” Merlin tells her but she does it anyway and tugs on the fabric of his blue tunic as they walk the hallways of the Camelot castle.

Gaius is busy today and Merlin knows better to not interrupt the man when it is at the utmost importance of business. So, obviously, the next best thing is Gwen. Sweet Gwen, who he will shower with compliments and nice sayings so she can help with his daughter.

“Merlin!” Morgana says as he crashes into her.

“Mmph, sorry, my Lady,” he apologizes meekly.

“Hello, Lady Morgana,” Em curtsies.

“Oh, now you’re nice,” Merlin grumbles. “Sorry, Morgana. I didn’t get much sleep last night and now I have to help Arthur.”

“Doesn’t he know you have a daughter to care for?” Morgana asks and still smiles sweetly at Emeline.

“Yes, he does. But, unfortunately, he is still Arthur. Excuse me, my lady, I was hoping to get to Gwen, borrow her, if you don’t mind,” he says.

“What for?”

“I was hoping she could look after Em for the day, at least until the afternoon.”

“Well, Merlin, both Gwen and I are free for the day. We could definitely look after her,” she nods.

“Really? Oh, thank you! It’s just for today, don’t worry,” Merlin rushes through his words out of gratitude.

“I can look after her whenever, Merlin. It’s the least I can do,” Morgana brings her arm around his daughter and he can almost hear the unspoken words, for keeping my magic secret.

There are times when he wonders why he’s ever kept his magic secret from Morgana, when there could actually be someone to understand. Ellyn knew, but she didn’t understand.

He crouches down to his daughter and says, “Now, Daddy has to go. I’ll be back for you later, okay?”

“Bye, Daddy,” she says as he plants a kiss on her forehead. “Thank you, again,” Merlin says to Morgana as he goes off.

“There’s a festival tomorrow,” Arthur says as Merlin smoothes the sheets of the prince’s bed.

“Yes, there is,” Merlin nods absent-mindedly. He didn’t really pay attention to what Gaius said about the festival, it’s just to celebrate something or other.

After a while, all the festivals in Camelot seem the same, a few pints of ale, a few smirks from ladies; the same old fun. He’s planning on taking Em to this one and, naturally, excluding the ale and ladies, he’s going to have some fun with his daughter.