Heartquake

Heartquake 14

Arthur insisted on accompanying Merlin to Ellyn’s house. Merlin didn’t protest, he figures he needs the company before reuniting with the mother of his child.

Em is already there, probably talking in fast tones to her mother about her new life in Camelot, while Ellyn is too tired and cannot make more of her enthusiasm save for the nodding and smiling and stroking of her daughter’s hand. He knows her too well, he figures.

Merlin taps on the door and a happy voice he recognizes as Ellyn’s says “Come in!”

Arthur gives Merlin a weak smile and a shrug as he opens the door and sees Ellyn sitting up in her bed, with Em at the side of her bed, cross-legged and smiling.

“Merlin!” Ellyn practically beams.

She still looks beautiful, her straight blonde hair, her green eyes, her smile, but the sickness shows. Her eyes look tired and red, her face is thinner, and her smile, it looks as if it’s her last resort. She can do nothing more than smile now.

“Hey, Ellyn,” Merlin gives a small kiss on her cheek.

“Em, can you leave Daddy and me alone for a bit?” Ellyn says to their daughter.

“Go on with Arthur,” Merlin says.

She does, kisses her mother on the forehead and rushes to Arthur’s side. He says nothing, the prince, just pulls Em closer cautiously and gives Merlin a reassuring smile, as if to say, I’ll be here when you need me . Merlin sits on the side of Ellyn’s bed, still holding her hand.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Better now,” she nods. “Em seems to love it over there.”

“Yeah, I guess. She misses you, though. I do, too. It’s hard without you sometimes. We always had each other and now…”

“You need to cope, Merlin,” she grips on his hand tighter.

“I am. I am.”

“With Arthur?” Ellyn smiles. Merlin laughs.

He should’ve known; Ellyn had always been the observant type, perhaps it was the smile that gave it away, or the small bruise on Merlin’s neck, he should’ve known.

“That obvious?”

“Just to me. I’ve known you your whole life, anyway. Will would’ve noticed, too.”

“Yeah, but Will would’ve teased me mercilessly and asked Arthur about his intentions towards me,” Merlin laughs. “You’re okay with this, right?”

“Of course I am, Merlin,” Ellyn smiles like only a mother can smile. “I just like seeing you happy.”

“I just like seeing you well,” Merlin kisses her knuckles lovingly.

“Merlin, no,” Ellyn says sternly. “Don’t you even dare using your thingy to cure me. I know you’re thinking about it, just don’t do it. Just don’t.”

“I have to save you. I love you,” Merlin’s close to crying now.

“I love you, too, M. always will,” Ellyn runs her fingers through his hair. “Take care of Em. Whatever you do.”

“Of course,” Merlin nods. “I should probably send her in again.”

“That would be nice.”

He gets up from the bed but turns back for good measure and kisses her hair and keeping one hand on her cheek. “I’ll always love you, too.”

Emeline enters the room, all the while; Arthur pulls Merlin in for a hug, a strong hand on his neck and the other around his waist.

A scream is heard, pulling the two lovers apart. Then a whimper, then a cry, then silence as he turns around, back into the arm.

He feels his heart growing heavy, then an arm around him, then oblivion, then pure, there was no other word for it, sadness.

There’s a numbness around him, like he can’t even feel leaving Ellyn’s room, that now occupies the mother of his child, her eyes closed like she’s sleeping, or walking to his own house, or being settled into bed like a child, because, the next thing he knows, it’s the late hours of the night, one arm directed downwards, where his hand nearly touched Arthur’s, who was sleeping in mismatched sheets on the floor.

The light from the small window hits him perfectly, and Merlin watches the sight. Arthur with his hair, lit by the blue moon, his mouth slightly parted, eyelids covering those eyes that are so blue and ones he can look at for hours on end. His Arthur, his destiny, his everything.