Does it help or harm

New issues arise

At this point in the mental health journey, I began experiencing psychotic symptoms that didn't make much sense to me or the people around me. I became vacant and it was hard to understand my thought process because I did things that were unacceptable even for someone unwell. 

This is just my opinion but I do not excuse hurting people just because of my issues. I have never seen, "Oh they are just unwell." As a viable excuse to make someone else hurt or in mental pain. I didn't realize it at the time but now that I can look back and reflect I feel upset with myself because the people I hurt are beautiful humans with such admirable qualities. They deserved nothing but good from this world and I stripped that away from them. I made them live in fear and hurt them in a way that is beyond words. 

I can't go back but that doesn't stop me from looking back and time-traveling back to the dark days that weren't even my worst days but probably the worst days for someone else. If you ever read this and you know who you are then this is what I have to say: I think you're amazing. For processing what happened and being able to love me unconditionally and wholeheartedly. I admire your hard work and the healing that you have put in to see me beyond just my actions. You inspire and when I'm around you I feel like a better person. No matter what life throws at you, you are strong. I made you question a lot of things and seeing the person you've become today I am incredibly proud.