War Never Ends

Chapter 10

(Dipper pov)

I just stare at the young boy as he holds the large combat knife in his hand. I painfully try to scoot back from him, everthing in my right eye is just red. He runs at me getting on top of me and plunges the knife down at me. I grab his wrist and twist it before pushing the knife into his neck and kick him off of me. I scoot back, watching as the boy bleeds out on the ground.

.......................

"Pinetree!"

My eye shoots open as I look down. Bill lays on the floor with me on top of him, my pocket knife pressed up against his throat. I quickly get off of him and drop the knife, backing away in horror. What the fuck have I done? What the fucking hell is wrong with me?!

He slowly stands up rubbing his throat. He tries to approach me but I just back away from him. I can't be near him, I can't be near anyone without risking hurting them. "Pinetree, it's okay-"

"Okay? What about this was fucking okay?! I could have killed you!"

"You wouldn't do that."

"What the fuck do you know about what I'm capable of?! What the fuck are you even doing here?! I told you to leave me alone!"

"I was worried so Mable let me in and when I came up here you were having a nightmare. I was just trying to help."

"I don't need your help! I don't need anybody's stupid help! Just get out and leave me the hell alone!"

"Pinetree-"

"Get out!"

He walks out shutting the door behind him. I lock the door before going to my window. I open it up and climb out onto the roof.

I stand at the very edge looking down. It would be so easy to just take one more step. But odds are I would just break a few bones. It wouldn't get the job done. I sit on the edge feeling tears trailing down my face. I killed that boy. Why didn't James or anyone else tell me what I did? He was just a kid. And tonight I could have killed Bill. Next time I could kill him. Or worse, Mable. I can't be here anymore. I can't risk putting them in danger by being around me. It isn't safe, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to either of them because of me.

.....................................

The sun rises over the horizon as my legs dangle over the edge of the roof. I can't be here. I need to be somewhere else to call James about staying with him until I can figure something else out. I just can't be here.

Standing up I jump to the nearby pine tree and climb down it to the ground. I shove my hands in my pockets as I walk into the forests, pulling the hood of my hoodie over my head.

I stop walking as I get to the tree with the broken tree house and our initials carved into the trunk. The day we carved those initials feels like a whole different lifetime ago.

Hearing the snap of a twig behind me I turn around seeing Bill. "What the hell are you doing here, Bill? Did you follow me?"

"Kind of, look I'm just worried about you. I just want to help."

"You can't help."

"When we carved our initials in that tree do you remember what we promised? We promised that we would always be there for each other. That we'd always have each other's backs no matter what. I care about you, Dipper. More than just a friend, and I know you feel the same. Just let me help."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Pinetree, I love you. And have for a long time. I know you feel that."

"I don't. I don't feel anything for you and never have." I go to walk away but he steps in my way. "Get out of the way."

"Not until you can honestly tell me that you don't feel anything for me."

I turn and walk a few steps away from him angrily. I hate this. I hate that I have to do this. But pushing him away is the only way to keep him safe from me. I turn back to him.

"Oh, hush, my dear, it's been a difficult year
And terrors don't prey on
Innocent victims
Trust me, darling, trust me, darling
It's been a loveless year
I'm a man of three fears
Integrity, faith and
Crocodile tears
Trust me, darling, trust me, darling

So look me in the eyes
Tell me what you see
Perfect paradise
Tearing at the seams
I wish I could escape
I don't wanna fake it
Wish I could erase it
Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar
Now you know
Now you know
I'm a bad liar, bad liar
Now you know, you're free to go

Did all my dreams never mean one thing?
Does happiness lie in a diamond ring?
Oh, I've been askin'
Oh, I've been askin' for problems, problems, problems
I wage my war, on the world inside
I take my gun to the enemy's side
Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling)
Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling)
Problems, problems, problems

So look me in the eyes
Tell me what you see
Perfect paradise
Tearing at the seams
I wish I could escape
I don't wanna fake it
Wish I could erase it
Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar
Now you know
Now you know
That I'm a bad liar, bad liar
Now you know, you're free to go

I can't breathe, I can't be
I can't be what you want me to be
Believe me, this one time
Believe me

I'm a bad liar, bad liar
Now you know
Now you know
That I'm a bad liar, bad liar
Now you know, you're free to go

Oh
Please believe me
Please believe me"

I walk by him and this time he doesn't try to stop me. I feel the tears running down my face as I take out my phone and call James.

"Hello?"

"Hey, James, it's me. I know this is a lot to ask but could I crash at your place for a while?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah just.....just can't be here anymore....."

"Sure thing. You get on the next bus here and I'll pick you up from the bus stop."

"Thanks man." I hang up the phone slipping it back into my pocket.