Over the course of the next few days, Alex tried his best not to spiral, telling himself that Matt had been right - there was still time until the gig and their newest material would most definitely cause a positive reception.
Sometimes he believed it, sometimes he didn't.
Right now he didn't really have time to worry though as he was extremely busy doing 'homework' with Miles.
The two of them often did this; meeting up for homework or studying but they almost never got anything done.
On this day, they'd decided to try and conquer their physics homework together, a subject neither one of them were particularly fond of, but instead winded up on the floor of Alex's bedroom, listening to the Beatles and playing air-guitar and -drums.
It was a miracle really, what with how into it they were, that Alex heard the knock on the door.
"Yes?" He responded.
The door opened and his mother, Penny, peaked into the room.
"Could you turn it down a bit please? Oh, hell0 there Miles. Lovely to see you."
Miles politely returned the greeting and Alex turned down the volume on the CD-player.
"Thanks, Love. You know I usually don't mind, it's just that I'm expecting a phone call from- well, I don't mean to bore you two with my troubles. What are you up to? Is that physics?"
She pointed to the books and sheets spread out and neglected on the floor. Miles and Alex nodded in response.
"Why don't you ask your father? I'm sure he could help."
It wasn't that Alex hadn't thought of asking his father for help, he taught physics after all, but asking would mean he'd actually have to deal with the subject matter instead of making up excuses on why he didn't. He was sure Miles felt the same way.
"Oh no, I think we'll be fine on our own", Alex said.
"Alright then", Penny replied while stepping back out into the hallway, "if you say so."
Once she'd closed the door, Miles crawled over to the CD-player and paused the music altogether. He crawled back over to Alex who looked slightly confused.
"What? You're the one who wanted to put on the Beatles. You always do", Alex said defensively.
"I know, I know, it's not that, calm down", Miles replied. "I just- I was wondering, since we're not doing physics anyways, if you could give me your opinion on this new tune I've been messing around with."
Alex thought it enough of an answer to reach for the acoustic guitar behind him and hand it to Miles. The latter cleared his throat.
"It's not much yet, I've got some lyrics as well but I haven't really found a way to put it all together yet, you know? Maybe I'll just play the chords I've got so far and you can have a look at these."
He started rummaging in his backpack and pulled out a little notebook to give to Alex after opening it and finding the correct page.
While Miles was still fiddling with the guitar and tuning it, Alex already had a first glance at the lyrics in front of him. He was more than interested to flick through the book, dying to know what else Miles had been writing, but he knew better.
He was all too familiar with the anxiety that was connected to the presentation of something new that he'd made. Even though him and the rest of the boys in their band 'Arctic Monkeys' were close and had been making music together for quite some time now, he still often felt uncomfortable showing his latest ideas to them, the lyrics in particular.
When Miles was finally ready, Alex sat up straight and looked at the boy holding his guitar.
Alex didn't know why, but he'd always liked this view. Since the first time he'd seen Miles with a guitar in his hands, Alex had wondered how it fit him so well, how it made him look so effortlessly cool and beautiful at the same time. Wait- beautiful?
"Right", Miles suddenly said, ripping Alex out of his thoughts, "Here it goes."
The boy started playing some chords that Alex thought sounded rather sad but captivating. Miles had this way of making everything he did seem so unique and so incredibly full of style, the way he dressed, the way he spoke and the way he sang and played guitar.
He was hardly singing right now. It was more like he was trying to figure out where to put the words as he was playing, occasionally throwing in some syllables.
Alex just listened and looked down into the little book he was still holding. It was hard to focus though with Miles playing. For some reason, Alex had an extremely hard time keeping his eyes off of him.
Neither one of them knew how long they had actually been sitting there, Miles playing and Alex watching him but looking away whenever Miles would look up. It might have been five minutes or an hour, or an entire day.
It wasn't, of course, but when Miles finally stopped and put down the guitar beside him, Alex felt as though he had just been aggressively ripped out of some sort of trance. He felt the urge to tell Miles to keep going but the moment had passed and he couldn't work up the courage.
"So?", asked Miles expectantly.
Alex had to blink a few times.
"I, ehm, I mean I really liked it! I did, it's very good Miles, honestly."
"You think so?"
"Absolutely! You should definitely keep working on it, I think it's gonna be really great once it's finished, well, it already is."
Miles's face broke into the widest, most genuine smile. Alex smiled back. Miles was sure he saw his eyes flickering down to his lips for just a second.
"Alex!"
The sudden call from downstairs startled both of them deeply. It was Penny.
"You've got visitors!"
Alex furrowed his brows. Had he been expecting anyone?
"Oh shit!" He suddenly remembered. "The lads are here for band practice. I completely forgot."
He hectically got up and gathered his stuff from the floor, Miles doing the same and putting Alex's guitar back where he usually kept it.
"I better get going, then", Miles said while picking up his backpack.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kick you out, Miles. You know you can stay a bit if you want, I'm sure the others won't mind", Alex offered, feeling bad.
Miles was a little surprised at the suggestion at first, knowing how much Alex hated other people being in the same room whenever they practiced.
"Thanks, but I don't mean to bother you." Alex was just about to protest but Miles continued: "Besides, I promised my Mum I'd be home for dinner."
"Oh."
They made their way to the door. Before they went down the stairs, they said a quick goodbye.
After their band practice was over and Matt, Jamie and Nick had left, Alex went back upstairs into his room, tired enough to fall asleep right in that moment.
However, on the way to his bed he stumbled over an unfamiliar object. He bent down and picked it up. It was Miles's notebook.
The page from before was still open.
Alex sat down on the bed with the book in his hand and looked at the lyrics properly for the first time as he hadn't been able to fully focus on them before, too distracted by the image of Miles and that guitar in his hands.
His eyes were glued to the first two lines for longer than they should have been.
If you just get it together and read my mind
Then sleeping would be easy
After a while, his eyes moved over to the next few lines that had him holding his breath for a moment.
I need something to sort me out
I need someone to come and shake me
...
Wish you'd just get it together
And read my mind
YOU ARE READING
Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Fanfiction"Perhaps it was the night, he thought, and that beautifully strange silence about it. Perhaps it was the air. There was something about the air. Or in it." (Milex Highschool AU) Alex and Miles have been friends for almost a year now, ever since Mi...
