It was Saturday, the day of the long anticipated gig at a local pub in Sheffield and Alex, Matt, Jamie and Nick had met early in the morning to practice, discuss any possible last minute changes concerning the set list and practice some more.
Everything was going fine, nobody messed up and the set sounded alright, they thought.
It wasn't that they weren't nervous. Actually, their nerves were most definitely the reason for this eagerness to keep playing even though they could not, no matter how many times they played their songs, rule out the possibility of making a mistake during the real performance. A slipped finger during a riff, a dropped drumstick or a false word, who knew what could happen?
Weirdly, Alex didn't feel half as nervous as he had weeks ago.
He was nervous but he just couldn't put more than a little energy into the feeling because almost all of his energy was invested into thinking about Miles. Alex knew that there was no way he could mess up a riff as badly as he'd messed up his friendship (and everything it could have led to) with him.
"Hey Al, is everything okay with you and Miles? You seemed a bit tense after the two of you talked today in school", Jamie asked when they were taking a break.
Matt gave Alex a concerned look that was supposed to express something like 'are you okay to talk about this or do you want me to try and change the subject?' but Alex didn't want him to do so.
Jamie had every right to ask, really.
"It's sort of a long story."
Both Jamie and Nick looked confused and Alex knew they probably wouldn't be satisfied with his unspecific response. He understood, he wouldn't have been either.
"Care to explain?" Jamie asked in a cautious matter almost like he knew what Alex was going through.
Matt and Alex exchanged another look similar to the one before. Matt gave him a small supportive nod that signalled he was all for him to tell the truth.
Alex put the white Fender guitar he was still wearing around his body down onto its stand, moved a chair from a corner further into the room and sat down.
With one last look over at Matt sitting at his drum kit, still holding the sticks and trying to silently encourage him, Alex closed his eyes and decided not to open them until he'd said everything he needed to say.
"The reason why I've been like this lately is that something happened, something between me and Miles and now I'm confused, to say the least, because everything is different and Miles is not the same friend he was just weeks ago because he might be ... more."
He'd said it all without stuttering, without ruffling his hair or biting his nails. Impressive, Matt thought.
Alex opened his eyes to look into two very surprised faces and one that smiled back at him.
Nobody dared say anything for almost a minute before Nick finally voiced a very insecure sounding question: "Did you ... kiss?"
Alex swallowed.
"Almost."
"Oh."
And that was when all of the inner rage he'd bottled up found its way to the surface and he could not contain it for another second. He got up and started walking around.
"If only the door had closed a second later, if only I hadn't knocked over that fucking teacup and if only I hadn't cut him off while he was talking-" he very dramatically slid down on the wall and onto the cold tiles of his parents' garage. "If only I wasn't such a fucking coward, I wouldn't have messed it all up."
It had taken them a second to realise what was going on but then they all reacted and kneeled down on the ground to surround their friend who was obviously in a very unfortunate crisis.
Alex felt hands patting him on his back and shoulders and somebody giving him a kiss on the head even, probably Matt.
He suddenly felt the urge to laugh and so he did. It was all just so ridiculous. Like a teenage romcom and he was the fourteen-year-old girl crushing on the cutest boy in school only he wasn't fourteen and he wasn't a girl, he was a seventeen-year-old very confused boy who seemed to have fallen in love with one of his closest friends who happened to be a boy as well, unfortunately.
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Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Fanfiction"Perhaps it was the night, he thought, and that beautifully strange silence about it. Perhaps it was the air. There was something about the air. Or in it." (Milex Highschool AU) Alex and Miles have been friends for almost a year now, ever since Mi...
