Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not

2 - Made Of Outer Space

Alex and Miles made it another hour before they both felt nothing but exhausted.
Alex was the first one to admit so and with that, him and Miles told the rest of the Monkeys they were leaving (who clearly weren't interested in joining them) and snaked their bodies through the people to get outside.
The club wasn't too far away from both of their homes and since they were together and only tipsy at best, they decided to walk.

They both had their jackets on now but it was still rather cold.
Alex thought so at least, but he didn't voice his discomfort. There was something about the night so calming and hypnotising that neither one of them spoke for a long time after they'd left.
It was slightly windy every now and again. There were no clouds but many stars to be seen in the pitch black sky.
Alex felt the urge to stop right there and just look up at those sparkling stars and the silver light of the crescent moon.

He thought about it for another few steps before finally putting his desire to action.
Miles had been so lost in his own imagination that it took him a good few seconds to even realise that Alex had come to a halt.

Therefore, the two of them now stood around two metres apart from each other. Miles turned around to face Alex but the latter wasn't facing him. He had his head in his neck, eagerly looking up into the sky. Miles did the same.
It really was a particularly starry night, he couldn't remember when he'd last seen one quite like it.
Neither could Alex, apparently, as he was still not signalling in any way that he might redirect his gaze back down to earth any time soon. He rotated on the spot every now and then but never moved his head.

Miles decided not to look up anymore, telling himself that it would eventually make his neck ache. It would no doubt, but in reality that might have been no more than an excuse to allow himself to instead look at the other phantom of this night, the one that was seemingly sparkling as well. Alex.

He was wearing those worn out trainers that he loved so much along with his favourite pair of jeans and that tracksuit top-like jacket over his t-shirt. His hair was somewhat messy as always. Miles sometimes thought that Alex's overall look resembled his personality so well, his hair in particular, so messy but still so structured in a way.

After what had seemed like hours, the boy finally lowered his gaze back down finding Miles's.
Miles didn't avoid it though, not even for a second. Alex's eyes found his and it never occurred to him to look away. He knew full well that the look he had on his face right now was probably implying he had been looking at Alex for a while before the latter started looking at him but for some reason Miles just didn't care about that. Perhaps it was the night, he thought, and that beautifully strange silence about it. Perhaps it was the air. There was something about the air. Or in it.

Miles couldn't tell if Alex's eyes were reflecting the light from the street lamps or the stars. It was obviously the street lamps, his mind was actually quite sure about that, but the light they were reflecting didn't look as usual as the light transmitted from a simple street lamp would. It seemed far more fitting to have been sent down to earth from space straight through Alex's eyes.

Miles started to wonder if that was what Alex had been made of all along. Stardust or anything of the sort. Outer space.
What was he doing? There was a strange, unfamiliar feeling overtaking his body, a weird sensation in his stomach.

Alex also still had his eyes glued on Miles like he did on the night sky before.
In this very moment, it felt as though Alex had never seen Miles before and yet he had never been so familiar.

Maybe it was the light. He had never spent this amount of time looking at Miles in this light. Actually, he had never spent this amount of time looking at Miles in any light - what even was this? Why was nobody putting an end to this?

As much as he suddenly felt he was obliged to, Alex just could not bring himself to actively put that very end to it.
Miles's eyes were captivating for one thing and for another, Alex was sure that something terrible would happen as soon as he broke the eye contact. He wasn't sure what exactly that might be but he knew it would make him regret his previous actions.

If he broke the eye contact, he would most definitely break the whole moment, the night and all its magic.
If he broke it, he would go back to feeling cold like he had before. Right now, he didn't feel temperature, he felt other things. They were things he couldn't really put his finger on. He didn't know what they meant. They were certainly scary though.They were scary because he had never felt them before, but also because they were so dominant, so powerful that they managed to overshadow any sort of other sensation within a split second.

Ultimately, it was neither Alex's nor Miles's fault when the moment finally was ruined.
An unexpected scream followed by more drunken voices and laughter from somewhere not too far away had both of them jump a little. The sounds had come from an uncertain direction but they had still managed to cut through the tension of the moment like a knife.
Alex went back to feeling cold and Miles had another quick glance at the stars.
"Right", he said with a raspy voice and cleared his throat, "we should probably get going then."
Alex hastily nodded and started walking, catching up with Miles as he was still a few steps ahead of him.

After around two minutes, Miles couldn't take how deeply Alex had to bury his face into his collar and cross his arms while walking.
He stopped and unzipped his jacket, took it off and wordlessly handed it to Alex.
The latter hesitated though. Instead of taking it, he just looked at Miles, confused.
"What are you doing?"
"What's it look like?"
"You're giving me your jacket?"
Miles nodded. "Yeah."

There was a small pause before Alex started speaking again.
"Why?"
It was such a simple question but Miles felt like it was the hardest one he had ever been asked when the word escaped Alex's lips.
"I- Because you're cold."
"Aren't you?"
"No. Well, sure, but not like you. Besides, I'm wearing a long sleeve at least. You've only got a t-shirt on underneath your jacket."

Alex remained silent as if he was waiting for something else. As if he wasn't convinced of whatever Miles was trying to convince him of.
"Why did you in the first place? You know you always get cold, silly", Miles jokingly but awkwardly added, referring to Alex's choice of clothing for the night.
Alex scoffed a little. Miles doubted whether he had actually found it funny though or if he was just pretending to make Miles feel a tad less exposed.

"Will you just take the fucking jacket, please?"
Alex bit his lip as he finally took it from Miles's hand who then lowered his stretched out arm.
He slowly put it on. Miles watched him.
What was it with this night? First the hand-holding, then the intense eye contact and now this.
"Thank you."

Miles tried to ignore the look Alex gave him as he said it and started walking in order not to read too much into it again. It wasn't working.
Alex walked beside him, feeling physically comfortable in Miles's jacket but otherwise slightly out of place.

When they had finally made it to Miles's house which was a bit closer to where they had come from, Alex started to unzip the jacket again intending to give it back to Miles.
"Oh no, don't worry about that, just keep it for now. You can give it back to me another time."
Alex had to look up at Miles since he was already standing on the doorstep.
"It's not far now", he stated.
"Yeah", Miles agreed, "but you'd still be cold, even though it's not far. Just keep it."
Alex put the zipper back up.

Miles was suddenly overcome by the urge to laugh and couldn't resist it, letting out a chuckle.
"What?" Alex asked now smiling himself. He was relieved that Miles had started laughing. The situation finally began to feel a bit more natural.
"Dunno", Miles said, "it's just, I don't know, the way you're standing there."
Alex chuckled. "What about it?"
Miles didn't know what to say.
Alex hadn't thought he would so he didn't expect to get much of an answer.

"Alright", he said, "S'pose I'll have to leave you then."
Miles let out another small chuckle.
"Will you be okay to walk home on your own?"
"Yes, Mum", Alex replied and caused Miles to laugh once more. Whenever Miles laughed because of something he said, Alex counted it as some kind of victory. He didn't know why.

"Okay." Miles started fiddling with his key. "I'll see you then."
Alex took a few steps away from the other boy as the latter opened the door and slipped inside.
"Sweet dreams, Miles."
"Sweet dreams, Alex."

The door closed.
Alex put his hands in the pockets of Miles's jacket and buried his face inside the collar.
He couldn't help but smile.