After about a week of avoiding each other's gaze and trying not to let the other person see their own, Miles and Alex finally found a way to speak to each other again.
Their conversations turned awkward rather quickly and were much emptier than they usually were. Usually, their conversations were filled with laughter, metaphors and passion. Now, they were fine. That was all they were; conversations in between friends who got on well but weren't all that close.
Miles wasn't sure what had hurt him more: the days he couldn't talk to Alex because of that lump in his throat or the talks they had now that felt like a thousands steps back.
Within Alex, Miles had found a friend for life, he had been sure when he met him, and now all they were was two strangers who had forgotten how to act around one another.
Every word that he exchanged with the boy felt like a very small but very sharp pinch somewhere in Miles's stomach. It was like the one person he had ever felt this close to was fading away and there was nothing he could do about it.
Even worse, he was forced to watch and participate in the process whenever he looked into Alex's eyes that were so full of fear.
He was dead tired as well, Miles noticed every day how the bags underneath his eyes got bigger and the yawns more frequent, the energy lower.
It hurt him more than he could handle that he couldn't do anything about it. Whenever he brought up questions like 'are you alright?' or 'have you slept at all last night?' Alex would just dodge them and start talking about something else, if he talked at all.
Truth was, Alex's nerves about the upcoming gig - that was inevitably getting closer every day and only about a week away now - were still occupying his mind but surprisingly, they were nothing compared to the space that Miles used up inside it.
Every night he stared up at the ceiling and tried to think of anything, anything but him but the harder he tried, the more present Miles became.
Penny and David were more worried than ever.
One night after band practice at Alex's, Penny asked Matt about her son when he had already gone up to his room.
"Yeah, we're worried as well, Mrs Turner. I'm sorry, but I don't really know what's going on with him either. He's not exactly talking to us about it, well not now at least."
Penny was confused.
"Not now? So he has talked about it to you before?"
Matt was clearly hesitant. He wasn't comfortable with the idea of sharing what Alex had told him in confidence that day; about Miles and the almost-kiss.
Penny understood.
"You don't have to tell me what it is, Matthew. Can you just tell me how to ask him?" Her voice was starting to quiver. "I'm running out of ideas. I don't know how to get to him anymore. I don't know what to do."
Matt didn't say anything. He felt so genuinely sorry for her; he could only imagine how hard this must be on a mother. He knew that it was hard for him in its own way as well, what with being Alex's best friend and everything but he didn't know what to say to her that could possibly make any of this any better.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look at me, God, I shouldn't be asking you for parenting advice." She chuckled. It seemed forced. "This is not your responsibility. I'm sorry for pressuring you like this."
"No, you're not- I mean it is my responsibility. Not the same as yours but it is. He's my best friend." He sighed. "Look, I don't even know how much of this I know and how much I can tell you but maybe you should ask Miles's Mum, Pauline, about how Miles is doing."
Penny was confused.
"Miles?"
Right after the conversation with Matt, Penny made her way to the living room to give Pauline a call.
She had suspected there was something unusual going on with Miles and Alex as Miles hadn't come around the house in a while and Alex had not mentioned him once and whenever her or David did, he would try to avoid the question somehow. Still, she was surprised how big of a role this seemingly played in Alex's situation. She'd thought it was still mainly about the nerves.
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Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Fanfiction"Perhaps it was the night, he thought, and that beautifully strange silence about it. Perhaps it was the air. There was something about the air. Or in it." (Milex Highschool AU) Alex and Miles have been friends for almost a year now, ever since Mi...
