Evening Promises

Thirty-one.

I walked into the cafe as the tears fell one by one. What have I done? I rushed out of my place as Alec slept soundly in my bed, how could he sleep so peacefully knowing he was inside his best friend the previous night? I cringe just at the thought, One minute I'm preaching that Alec is only a friend to me and the next minute I'm moaning from his touch, no that wasn't me, that was the alcohol doing its dirty work.

It was sympathy sex on my part, I needed someone to lean on and he just so happened to be there but I've cried in his presence multiple times and never considered sleeping with him. Maybe it was more so that I didn't believe he could be into me, I believed he never saw me as more than just a friend which made things easier on my truth; him only being a friend. We've both made a huge mistake, we were drunk; it was the alcohol doing its dirty work.

I wasn't scheduled today and I'm still suffering the effects of my hangover but the last thing I was going to do was have to confront my and Alec's mistake, the same night Sebastian split my heart into two. Fuck Sebastian.

Sebastian was the first real guy to bring out my soft side, he molded me into a hopeless romantic. The only guy I was truly into, not even for a moment did another bring me comfort and contentment like Sebastian. In college, I expected to find the love of my life but college life is not at all how it's portrayed in books/movies. You don't click into groups instantly, have parties and the time of your life every night while juggling the hardships of studies, that's the farthest thing from the truth. Humiliation and antisocialism edge closer to reality.

Yes, I slept with multiple guys in college but I can promise you that they'd never suspect more, we'd equally get what we wanted and let bye-gone be bye-gone but it eventually turned into much more, socially. I'd felt somewhat humiliated when guys would sit in a circle and share their experiences about me, but you know what? They should feel embarrassed, bragging about sleeping with the same girl as the next when theirs plenty of pussy to go around.

I felt almost empty in college, with no friends and no life, besides Ash being a default friend, Alec was the only one I could click with, he was outgoing and friendly. He brought the fun side out of me and helped me to relax on my sex life and embrace my inner being yet not once shaming me for it, he was so comforting and friendly, our friendship felt so real, and not once did he come onto me so him telling Sebastian we were sneaking around felt like a stab in the back.

He's the last person I'd suspect to gut me from the inside out he ruined my relationship, no Sebastian ruined our relationship. How could he believe a guy he barely knows over his girlfriend? The one he spent countless evenings with, the one he promised to cherish and adore always. How could he easily betray our trust without speaking to me first? He should know me better than to cheat on him when we've been through so much.

Making it inside I embrace the familiar scent and wipe away the noticeable tears, I'm fine I swear. I head to the back and clock in, bumping into Holly.

"Hey, you're in early, again" she speaks looking behind me as if the answer was written there.

"I needed to get my mind off things, couldn't sit around" I awkwardly chuckle but her face doesn't budge. I've been here early the past few days even Sunday as well, I wasn't even scheduled that day but I refused to run into Alec or Sebastian.

As time went by my heart got lighter as I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind to keep myself busy and ignore my problems. Sebastian showed up at my job a couple of times these past days and every time I hid in the back, begging Holly to lie for me, Holly has always been a girl's girl, and not once would she choose Sebastian's sanity over whatever I was going through in her eyes. She'd rather watch him get run over by a car than watch me break a nail.