Evening Promises

Thirty-three.

The leaves had begun to turn, painting the town in hues of orange and gold. I stood by the window, watching the world outside transform with the arrival of fall. It had been months since Sebastian and I had broken up, yet the familiar ache lingered, a constant reminder of what once was. Despite our breakup, we continued to seek solace in each other's arms, unable to sever the final thread that connected us.

I turn to face him as he sleeps soundly in the comfort of his own bed. Sebastian, still barely clothed from the night before, lies there peacefully. His chest rises and falls with each breath he takes, a rhythmic reminder of the night we just shared. Every time we have sex, I feel a pang in my chest, a mix of longing and confusion. It's like I forget everything that's happened, and when it's over, I go through some sort of grievance episode, processing the emotions that flood back.

Our sex isn't how it used to be; it feels more like an emotional attachment now, a connection that's deeper and more complicated. I can't lie, it's still just as good as it was when we were together, the physical chemistry is undeniable, but it's not the same. There's an underlying tension, a sense of something unspoken between us. It feels like we're doing something illegal, harboring a secret that feels like a deep inequity, a forbidden bond that neither of us can fully break free from. This secret, this connection, it's both intoxicating and agonizing, leaving me torn between desire and the weight of our shared past.

People often question why I seem so withdrawn in social settings, not realizing the invisible tether that binds me to Sebastian. It's as if our souls are intertwined, making it impossible for me to let go. But is that really such a terrible thing? Sebastian still desires for us to be together, but I can't yet the thought of being with someone else makes me feel physically ill unless I'm completely intoxicated. The love between us still exists, a lingering presence that I can't shake off, but so does the pain of his betrayal. The emotional scars run deep, creating a complex web of affection and hurt that I navigate every day.

Sebastian shuffles in his place, the subtle movement catching my attention as I turn to face him. He stretches out his limbs, a habitual gesture that always follows his moments of restlessness. His hands rub his eyes, a sign of weariness, before he quickly scans the room with a searching gaze. When his eyes finally land on me, I can tell he's found what he was looking for. The smile that appears on his face is the one I've longed for, the one that used to make my heart flutter. But now, as that familiar smile spreads across his face, a sense of dread washes over me. I know what I have to do, and the weight of it feels almost unbearable.

"Sebastian, we need to talk," I say, my voice more blunt than I intended. His smile falters, and confusion clouds his eyes. "This... thing between us, whatever it is, it needs to end."

His eyes widen in shock. "Avery, what are you saying? I still love you this is the only way I can have you."

His words stung me like a swarm of bees, stirring up memories I've tried to bury. I think of Alec, the night I found out about Sebastian's betrayal. The raw pain, the anger, the need for comfort that led me to do the unthinkable. I slept with him, seeking solace in the arms of someone I thought I trusted, someone who wasn't Sebastian. The memory is a jagged scar on my heart, a secret I've kept hidden for too long.

I take a deep breath, bracing myself for what I'm about to confess. "Sebastian, there's something you need to know. The night I found out you cheated on me, I... I slept with Alec."

His face contorts in pain, his eyes reflecting a mixture of hurt and disbelief. "The Alec who convinced me you were sleeping together in the first place?" I don't answer him, I just watch his expression change as the truth threatened to wring out my heart like a towel. The silence between us is deafening, each second stretching into an eternity. I watch as the realization sinks in, see the betrayal mirrored in his eyes. It's a look that cuts me deeply, filling me with regret but also an odd sense of relief. The unbearable secret is finally out.