What Time Forgot | Minsung

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Minho stepped out of the shower.

The commander had allowed him a hot one in his refurbished headquarters.

It was a huge building that had been refurbished with expensive materials and looked nothing short of a castle from the inside. It pained him knowing that the boys lived in such rubbish while the side of the army was living in luxury. It was an unfair life, he'd found. That nothing could be fair in terms of anything anymore. That even bad people didn't deserve a lot of what they'd been handed by the reform.

He found himself thinking about Jisung as that train of thought continued on its tracks.

Minho was so hurt. Hurt by the fact that the one person he'd decided to give his heart to had hurt him in the worst way. The one person he'd trusted enough with his body to go all the way with had hurt him.

It was an unimaginable pain and regardless of their circumstances and labels on their relationship, that would truly hurt anyone who went through it.

Minho wrapped a bright white towel around his waist and allowed the water to drip from his hair down his cheeks. He leaned over the porcelain sink and looked down at the dripping tap.

He didn't know how long he stared. Didn't know how long it was until he grew angry.

He gripped the edges of the sink harshly as he thought about how strange he'd felt since he found out what Jisung had done. That no matter how he tried to justify it, he couldn't.

He'd been so taken advantage of.

Perhaps wanting Jisung dead was nothing short of low. Perhaps he was just as bad as him. Perhaps he was so awful that he'd stoop as low as that psychopath.

That day, Minho cried.

Cried as he looked in the mirror and saw every remnant of Jisung on his skin. Every single imaginary line of his touches that was left behind. The hickeys left on his neck and the marks on his back from the tree in the woods. He didn't even have to look to know there were bruises on his hips from everything they'd done that night. The fading bruises on his cheeks made him cry harder.

Minhos lips quivered as he ran his fingertips along the marks on his neck.

Maybe he was just as crazy for crying over something that never was.

Though the pain in his heart was nothing compared to the wants and what ifs he could have had with Jisung if things had gone a different route.

Minho sobbed as he looked over the marks on his back, breathing in harshly as he brought a shaky hand to brush over them the best he could.

Was he crazy for taking that kind of abuse just to have something with him?

Minho couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Jisung had sexually assaulted him and had proceeded to take advantage of his attraction to gain sexual attention. He felt dirty and used. So disgusting that even the hottest shower in the world couldn't cure the way he felt tainted.

He didn't think he would ever be the same.

It wasn't the same as being genuinely raped but it compared heavily. Compared in the sense that it was nonconsensual. That he'd been taken advantage of and that he'd been so used and mistreated. That Jisung had gaslit him into almost every single thing they did together and he hated himself for falling for it.

The confession of his actions only furthered how disposable he felt. Furthered how Jisung never truly cared.

The fact that he'd said he wanted to kill him only made him want to vomit.

He wondered how many times he'd thought about it. Though the actions in the river only made so much more sense now. When Jisung had tried to drown him, he didn't know what to think but now he knew the truth. He knew the truth about it all and the fact that it was only an attempt on his life.

Minho hated him that much more. Especially as all the puzzle pieces began to fit together in a way that completed a picture. It was a fuzzy one that he had to squint his eyes to see but even then, he didn't want to.

Knowing the truth was sickening.

A knock sounded at the door.

"Soldier?" A voice sounded from outside.

"The commander wishes to see you now and has asked that you hurry with your shower,"

Minho brought a trembling hand to his lips to hold in a cry.

"Okay," he said and tried his best to keep the trembling out of his voice though he failed only slightly.

Minho cried a little longer before deciding that he'd never cry over Jisung again.

He dressed in his uniform that had been hung in the bathroom previously to his shower. It was a casual one. The black material hugging his body tightly in a way that he used to hate but now appreciated way more than he had before. It was warmer than jisungs hugs and more comforting than his words. It brought a sense of security that even in jisungs most psychotic moments directed at anyone else in defense of him couldn't compare.

Minho then left the bathroom and began walking down the hallway with his stringy wet hair clinging to his forehead. His boots pounded the marble flooring beneath his feet. A gun rested in the holster at his waist, the metal resting heavy against his hip.

Minho didn't even know what side he was on anymore. Especially not with betrayal from both sides.

Minho walked up to the office door that hid the commander inside. It was a big wooden door with detailing of flowers and birds carved into the grains.

This was his office in the headquarters. A place where the commander resided the most when he wasn't taking post in the psych ward during the day to monitor his soldiers there.

The two soldiers that stood at the door watched him carefully before he stopped and saluted them both. They returned it and then dropped it simultaneously before one silently stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

A minute passed before the soldier stepped out of the room again and nodded at Minho who then moved through the slightly ajar door.

The guards closed it behind him and again, Minho saluted the commander who sat at his desk with maps and papers strewn across it.

"That's a sight to see, you know?" The commander spoke when Minho dropped his salute.

Minho stayed quiet knowing the commander would only continue to speak regardless of any other dialogue.

"I suppose you took advantage of my permission to do whatever you had to do right?" The commander asked and Minho stayed quiet again, feeling so odd that he didn't understand the way the commander had used him.

"I suppose a boy like you has needs," the commander said with a short laugh, "so tell me who you found to fulfill them. Was she pretty? A heartthrob like you've been hoping for?"

Minhos eyes glanced away from the commander and he snapped to regain his attention.

"Speak," the commander said simply and Minho stayed quiet mostly because he knew if he spoke, he would only begin to cry again if it was about Jisung.

"I expect you came with information, correct?"

It was only then that Minhos eyes shifted to the one in power and blinked a few times.

"I won't say a word until you answer my questions first," Minho said and kept his face cold and neutral.

The commander quirked an eyebrow and tilted his head a bit to try and read Minhos expression but it wasn't anything more than daggers being shot his way.

"Ask away," he said simply