Lullabies

4. Dicey Deals

Eda > Serkan via WhatsApp, February 14th, 10:04 PM

Eda: Please don't play around like this.

Serkan: I'm not playing. I'd never play around with your feelings.

Eda: Then let's drop this. I'm not even sure why you are bringing this up after all this time.

Serkan: Bc you seem to believe you weren't good enough for me. And the reality is that I was a mess back then, and I didn't deserve you.

Eda: Serkan, don't say that...

Serkan: But it's true. Everything I did then was driven by rage and grief. 

Eda: You'd just lost your brother. Your dad was, and still is, the biggest of jerks to you and your mum. 

Serkan: And in turn, I took my anger on you - the one person who listened to me, who comforted me. 

Eda: Stop it, Serkan. You didn't do anything like that.

Serkan: But I did. Sometimes, you're too kind, Edacim.

Eda: I am not. You were my best friend. You were going through a very challenging time. And I was there for you. That's what friends are for.

Serkan: And where was I for you, Eda? I knew you weren't doing well either. You were dealing with your father's growing medical problems. And yet, I insisted on pushing you away.

Eda: Honey, this happened so long ago. Please, don't beat yourself up bc of it. 

Eda: It'd been a hell of a week. We were both on edge. We both did foolish things. It wasn't anyone's fault. 

Serkan: What happened between us wasn't foolish, Eda.

Eda: Sure it was. We weren't in a relationship. We didn't use protection. You were drunk. I knew better than to stay. 

Serkan: I wasn't drunk anymore when I brought you to bed with me.

Eda: Please, Serkan. You were speaking nonsense.

Serkan: Saying that you're beautiful isn't nonsense, Eda.

Eda: <--22s audio -->

Serkan: Yes, your Freudian slip was all I needed to take a chance and act on everything I'd felt since I'd returned.

Eda: You treated me like a little girl, like your baby sister, up until the last day.

Serkan: You weren't a little girl anymore. You'd become a gorgeous woman. And the more I spent time with you, the more I craved your company, the more I wanted you. 

Eda: You're exaggerating.

Serkan: I am not. I kept you at arm's length for my own sanity. I knew I was leaving. I had to leave. Then my flight got canceled... 

Serkan: I drank that night to get the courage to tell you how I felt, only I didn't. Then I tried to show you, but I guess I failed. 

Eda: Yet you left the next morning without saying a word.

Serkan: And I regretted it. 

Serkan: I still do. 

Eda: Serkan, I'm not going to lie and say that what happened between us was just sex. Bc to me, it wasn't. 

Serkan: It wasn't for me either. 

Eda: You were my best friend, Serkan. I just got you back. And I care too much about our friendship for - this - to come between us.