Stepmother

Painful Love

While Sun Baohai was handling family affairs on his side, on the border Jinhai was handling some issues. Today his superior had gathered all the chuangzhus for a small bandit raid. It was a mission that came from an above general, but it was an opportunity for them. If they could successfully raid the bandits, which they did, they would have surplus funds, and those who participated would earn some silver. So on this mission, Jinhai earned about twenty taels. 

Though he sustained some injuries they were life-threatening. He was just happy to be able to send home some money. As soon as they got back to camp, their superior planned a small celebration dinner for them.

"You guys sure look happy," The ger greeted warmly with a chuckle, his voice sweet and mellow, drawing smiles from the men.

This person was captivating and exuded confidence effortlessly. They had sharp eyebrows that framed their piercing eyes that seemed to hold a wealth of wisdom, while their high cheekbones added a slight regal charm. Their luscious red lips curved into a knowing smile as he chuckled, hinting at their playful yet powerful demeanor. 

In a place where men could only see rough men, this person was their only relief. But even though this person was extremely beautiful, and a ger, he was still a very powerful person. He was the ger son of Marquis Hanlin, and one of the best strategists of their army. 

Even before the emperor had allowed gers and women into the working force, a lot of noble gers were raised as sons, which was the case for, Marquis Hanlin's ger son, Hao Hui. As soon as the law was passed, Hao Hui was no longer scared to go beyond the scope of his home with his intelligence, so he came up with military strategies that were now renowned. In the army, he was respected, and even in a room filled with men, he was not slighted so sometimes he would drop by, like today. But seeing him sit next to Jinhai, it was evident who he was close to.

"Of course we are! We completed the given mission and even, made some silver!" Le Ke responded happily. He was close to Hao Hui and knew he liked to be treated as equals.

"Is that so? Then congratulations!" Hao Hui answered earnestly.

"Jinhai is just rubbing it in our face, he already gets so much food yet he gets more money on top of that," A burly soldier grumbles, causing laughter to erupt. They knew he was just joking and didn't take it seriously, so they all followed along and started grumbling, not noticing the slight change in Hao Hui's expression.

"Your family is sending you food?" Hao Hui asked with a slight smile. Though he and Jinhai were not the closest they were close enough so he knew some things.  His family was separated and hated him so they couldn't send food, which meant.....No! He didn't want to believe it! But his disbelief was futile.

"Of course not, I remarried," Jinhai answered calmly but the subtle smile couldn't be hidden. Hao Hui once again felt his heart shatter in pieces. So fast? He didn't have the chance to feel him yet he was already married once again? How would he be able to give up this time? He felt angry, hurt, and betrayed but with his years of experience, he was able to mask his emotions. 

"Did you sneak back home to get married?" Hao Hui asked jokingly. Though he was close with Jinhai he stayed in his own camp as he was still a ger. But from what he understood Jinhai didn't go back so him being officially married might be...

"No, I left my deeds at home, so my wife just went to the yamen and was put on the household register, but when I go back we'll hold the wedding," Jinhai responded normally but one could evidently hear his voice get softer when he said wife. Hao Hui felt like someone had just plunged a knife into his chest and twisted it. He wanted to scream and cry yet he couldn't. He could only smile.

"That's good, I hope you have a happy marriage then," With a strained smile, Hao Hui offered his congratulations, masking the turmoil within. Yet, as he retreated from the celebration, a wave of sadness washed over him, the weight of his unspoken emotions bearing down heavily. Feeling that he was about to burst if he stayed here for one more second he rushed into his tent.

As he reached the room, the realization sunk in, his heart felt like it was being ripped apart. The realization that the man he had loved for so long did not even consider him as an option left him stunned and breathless. He stood frozen in place for a moment as if trying the understand this new knowledge.

With trembling hands, and aching limbs, he made his way to his chambers. Each step felt like a battle against gravity, dragging him down further into the depths of despair. As he collapsed on the bed the floodgates of his emotions burst open, and tears poured forth in an endless torrent. The sobs wracked his body, shaking him to the cor as he released the pent-up anguish that had been building up inside of him.

For a total of six years, he had been foolishly in love with him. When he first realized he had a crush on Jinhai, he would foolishly follow him with a smile, talking about their lives, realizing that they had so much in common only made him love him more. But while Le Ke was blabbing he knew that Jinhai was married and that his wife was beautiful. He who did not use to care about his skin suddenly started dolling himself up, taking care of his skin, and following the mannerism for gers. Even if he knew Jinhai's heart did not belong to him, and his heart was absolutely torn, he still wanted to look the best for him.

He had loved and loved and loved. He had poured out all of his love to him, every ounce of his being, until he didn't know if he had anything left. So when he that Jinhai was divorced, he was ecstatic, even though he saw how fragile Jinhai looked without his wife, in the deepest pits of his heart, only happiness remained. But before he could even be happy, before he could even initiate anything, his hopes were heartless crushed, as Jinhai had remarried. 

As he thought of Jinhai's gentle smile during the celebration, he curled into a tight ball, seeking solace in the warmth of his quilts, yet there was none. The pain was raw and all-consuming, it radiated from the depths of his soul and echoed through every fiber of his being. It hurt so much that he wanted to die, but all he could do was cry. So all alone, in his chambers, he cried and cried until his voice went hoarse.

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