The things we can't control

Chapter three

Finally I was cleared to train at my full potential and compete again. I've never done a college competition because I was out with the injury for my whole freshman season. I don't mean this in an arrogant way, but the competitions should be easy. I won't show my complete olympic routines, but rather an easier version.

I was very grateful, that I was allowed to use the Stanford training grounds whenever I wanted. That was an agreement made by my manager, also known as my mother, and Stanford, which provides me with the opportunity to keep my training on an elite level, without annoying all the other girls.

Right now I stood in an empty gym staring at the vault. This is the apparatus were I hurt my foot and with that destroyed my dreams, a year ago.

***

I was on my last event in the 'all around women's final' in Tokyo. I knew that I could win the gold medal if I just stuck this vault. One vault that I would do for the thousandth time. Just put it on your feet. That's all you have to do.

The green flag went up and I stepped on to the vault run-up. I took a deep breath and started my run. As I did my Yurchenko entry on the vault I noticed that I didn't have a good block from the table but I couldn't just stop at this point, so I continued to twist. I landed way too low and had to put my hands down. But I didn't even care about the deduction, because the next thing that I felt was pain. A horrible, all consuming pain that came from my right foot and shot into my leg.

I screamed and clutched my foot, while I laid on the mat.

***

I shut my eyes tightly and tried to think about something else. I could still fell the pain I felt in that moment and I had to sit down and massage my foot. An achilles tendon rupture is something I wouldn't wish my worst enemy. It was extremely painful and I won't ever be able to forget the sound of the tear.

I was startled by a hand on my shoulder. As I turned, I stared into Jacksons warm eyes. Macy's boyfriend gave me a sad smile. "Stop thinking about it. You will be back in no time and show everyone why you still got second, even with a fall." I winced as he mentioned my second place at the Olympics.

"Second isn't fist, Jackson. And I am not second place material."

"You still won two silver medals and you will come back stronger and get yourself one of the gold ones." He said, trying to cheer me up.

"We both know that Simone won't withdraw a second time and no one can beat Simone. My chance was last year and I didn't take it. I couldn't even start in the individual finals." I looked at my foot, still disappointed with the competition that should have been my greatest. I trained for that moment my whole life and it was horrible.

But Jackson wasn't giving up and continued trying to convince her. "Exactly, you couldn't even start in the individual finals. You weren't able to show the world how great you really are and who knows maybe Simone won't compete in another Olympics. It's still two years away. A lot could happen." He still tried to motivate me and I was thankful for that.

"You are right!" I got to my feet and gave him a confident nod. "Let's not burry our heads in the sand just yet."

"That's the spirit I am looking for." He gave me a high five.

If I'm honest the confidence is just a facade. Since the olympics my motivation has been on an all time low and I started to hate the sport I once loved. But I couldn't quit. Not before I had my very own Olympic gold medal.

Jackson and I walked over to the other boys that entered the gym loudly.

Today was Wednesday and I always train with the boys team on Wednesdays, because thats their strengthening day. At first it was just because, with my injury, I could only do strength and bars, but now I also do it because I realised that I am better with the added strength training.

"Come on boys, and Evie, let's start." Thom, our coach, clapped his hands together, once the last gymnast entered the gym. "We will start with some runs and sprints on the vault run-up. Evie, like you know, you'll have to see how much you can do."

"I am actually cleared." Everyone stopped and turned to look at me. All the boys started cheering and patting me on the back. "Yes, Evie! Why didn't you tell me just now." I shrugged my shoulders and accepted the hug Jackson pulled me into.
Thom also came over and congratulated me. "That's very good news, we will miss you."
"I thought, maybe I could still spend my Wednesday with you guys?" I hopefully looked at him, waiting for his answer.

"If it doesn't get too much, of course you can still train with us on Wednesdays, we would hate to loose our hardest worker."
I smiled at him and nodded as a quick thank you.
"Ok, enough about this for now. Let's start ,everybody!" Thom shouted and we all started to running.

***

"I can't feel my legs." Jackson complained as he sat down next to me. He often stays in the gym with me, after the training is done. I laughed and continued to stretch.
"You can always join me." It became a routine for me to continue with stretches and turns after the strength training, and it helps to prevent my muscles from getting too stiff.

"I don't even think I can still do a split." Was Jackson's only reply, as he rolled onto his back and looked at me.

"Then tell me, why exactly are you here" I asked him, grinning, so he knew that I actually liked his company. Since we often train in the same gym and I even trained with his group since freshman year, we became good friends. He tells me that I was 'his saviour', after introducing him to Macy, or 'the love of his life' as he always reminds me. Such a goofball.

He groaned and rolled his eyes. "To support you and so you aren't always alone in this big gym. You could hurt yourself and no one would know."
We both knew that he was only here to avoid studying.

"Anyways, the Stanford soccer team has their first game of the season on the weekend. Macy and I are going. Maybe you could also come?" I consider it for a second. "Jackson, I don't know shit about soccer and I have to learn."

"Come on Evie, you never get out of your dorm." He whined, trying to convince me.
"That's not true. I am actually rarely in my dorm, ask Macy." I defended myself.
Jackson just playfully shoved me.
"Yeah, because you are either in the gym or the library. Your life is sooo boring and you need to change that. Oh good, I sound like my Mom."

I laughed but also considered what he said. "Okay, I'll come with you," he was already celebrating. "but under one condition! You have to explain to me what's happening. I hate not knowing what's going on."

"Deal!" We shook hands and I continued my training.